Would You Care For a Little Porgy With That?

The Eyes Tell the Story

At one point I ended up with really puffy eyes for a few days. Not sure what caused it, although Laynni suspects it may be the way I wedge my eyelids open and stick my face inches from the showerhead after I’ve been swimming in the pool or ocean. Hey, I look at it like cleaning behind your ears, I’m a stickler for getting behind my eyeballs.

Biking with Dogs

For the most part the dogs around here are pretty docile. Which I guess would be a nice way of saying they are way too lazy to do anything but lay in the road, get in the way and occasionally lick their dusty balls. However, every now and then when I’m biking one will drum up the energy to pretend that instead of ball-licking, today he’s really more into chewing my leg off, and will start barking hysterically and racing along next to me. I was quite pleased with myself the one time I actually got a toe on one of the million yappy little Chihuahuas around here and sent him flying – his disproportionately large head tumbling over his tiny stunted ass.

The Bridge of Life

The Bridge of Life

Feel my wrath 3 pound rodent! Unfortunately, most of my pursuers are much larger and look kind of like a cross between a pit bull, a lab and a mangy cat so, in those cases, I usually only end up pedaling really hard and swearing ineffectually in their general direction while I flee.

Pan de Panic

There is a lady who sells really good homemade bread in the market every Thursday whom we have come to form an unhealthy reliance on. One week she just wasn’t there and it was like Laynni’s whole world was falling to pieces.

“What will we do for breakfast?”
“You can’t just put lightly peppered tomatoes onto thin air – they’ll never make it to my mouth.”
“Do you think we’d find some in PV?”

Construction Workers Confirm Stereotype

One of the great joys of traveling is experiencing all the differences from one place to the next. We’ve found that even the most mundane things can be interesting when they are new and unusual. On the other hand, it can also be tiring to be constantly dealing with the unfamiliar so once in a while it is nice to encounter something universal – a practice, habit or cliché that is known everywhere because it is everywhere.

Cruising for Self-Esteem Whistles

Cruising for Self-Esteem Whistles

Well, I daresay that after all the places we;ve been Laynni can safely vouch for the fact that construction workers everywhere like to whistle when women pass by in shorts. And, apparently, one likes to whistle at me (Gay? Simple mistake? Or should I take offense?). In his defense, I was wearing my short shorts.

Wordplay That Can Be Both Fascinating And Gross

I was writing something the other day and actually found myself typing the phrase “child-porny”. As in, “Do you think talking about describing naked Cambodian children is too child-porny?” Anyway, I just thought I’d mention it because looking back I realize how horrible it is on so many different levels. If I were to somehow accidentally use it, say, near a border crossing I would have to think that it would seriously hurt my chances of being admitted into whatever country happened to be on the other side of that invisible line. So from now on it is officially being removed from my vocabulary, which is why I thought I’d share it with you first. And just for the record, when Word gave me those annoying little “mistake squiggles” – green for “child” (apparently Word is of the belief that “child-porny” should be capitalized after brackets) and red for “porny”.

The Protagonist

The Protagonist

Their alternative suggestions included “pony” (much more pleasant, I agree), “porn” (a bit too literal, don’t you think?), “porky” (not really any less disturbing) and “porgy”. Yup, porgy. Apparently it is a type of fish, as well as a word I plan to use early and often from now on. Consider yourselves warned.

Michael and the Wave

Steph Murphy, Jay G-something-something and their son, Michael (Miguel down here) came down to La Penita for a couple weeks. Steph’s dad, Rodger, has a place very close to us and is the reason we ended up here in the first place. Anyway, ol’ Mike is now walking and has just reached that exciting skill level where he never really gets his balance completely but can still really pick up a head of steam and is always about 2 seconds away from going face first into the <insert dangerous backyard appliance here>. Anyway, we all went up to Chacala one day and they were trying out the new floatie Steph bought that is basically a little boat with holes in the bottom for his legs. He hates it. I mean, really, truly, hates it. Nonetheless, Jay put him in it and took him out into the ocean, reasoning that if they could get out past the bigger waves he’d, I don’t know, come around, see the error of his ways, take one for the team, or something like that.

Foreshadowing?

Foreshadowing?

Well, best laid plans and all, I’m laying on a recliner up on the beach with my eyes closed when I’m disturbed by some commotion followed by Steph saying “Oh my god!”, but not so much in a “Wow, is that ever amazing” way, but more in a “What do you think you are doing with my baby you son of a bitch?” kind of way. I quickly sat up, blinking through my head rush to see Jay holding Mike as far above his head as his arms will reach, the little guy clinging to the sides of his little yellow boat, his feet hanging out the bottom ludicrously, as this gargantuan wave looms over them. The scene unfolded as though in slow motion – Jay deciding to charge at the wave instead of away from it, making a last desperate jump to make himself taller, Laynni standing at the edge of the water with her hand over her mouth nervously yet looking extremely relieved that she had just recently extracted herself from his questionable plan, Steph racing down the beach, her hands already clenched into dangerous-looking fists, Rodger still next to me, sipping his rum and coke and apparently only vaguely aware of the situation. At this point it was clear that even if it ended “well” there was going to be one very unpopular fellow in La Penita that night. However, it did not end well, unless you feel that having your 1-year old vomit up salt water falls into the “essential life lessons” category. Now I can’t say for sure, but in my opinion I would say that Steph did not. No permanent harm done, though, at least not physically, and eventually Mike retaliated by eating many, many handfuls of sand which, we are told, made changing him even less enjoyable than usual. Needless to say, his revenge was not served cold.

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