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315 Funniest Captions for Instagram

Funny captions can go a long way. We all love laughing, and what’s better than laughing at IG funny captions? Funny photo captions have become very popular and here you will find the funniest captions that your followers will love. We’ve compiled the best funny captions including funny captions for Instagram, short funny captions and funny short quotes for Instagram.

We think that when it comes to captions, funny ones are often the best and this collection of funny captions can create a lasting impression, express your unique personality and make you stand out in the crowd.

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If you like amusing captions check out our lists of:

Jump ahead to your favorite category or start scrolling to find your favorite funny caption.

Funniest Captions

Here are some of the funniest captions are guaranteed to make you smile.

  • I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
  • If being Hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
  • If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
  • Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
  • The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
  • Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
Candystripe lighthouse iwth funniest captions
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  • I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
  • The hardest thing being single is finding a reason to shower.
  • Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
  • People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.
  • I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
  • The best thing to do first thing in the morning is to go right back to sleep.
  • If you set impossible goals you’ll never be disappointed when you fail.
  • What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? – Retired
  • Gone to the beach. Be back never.
Waves on beach with funniest Instagram captions
  • You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
  • I like sarcasm. It is like punching people in the face. With Words!
  • Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
  • If I was to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.
  • Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies!
  • Reality called, so I hung up.
  • My hairstyle is called “I Tried”.
  • Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
  • I put the “Pro” in procrastination.
  • After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
Person on beach at sunset with funny cute Instagram funniest captions
  • Weekend, please don’t leave me.
  • You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.
  • Normal? Normal is only the people you do not know well enough.
  • I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year
  • I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
  • I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
Crashing wave with funniest cute captions
  • I don’t always make sense, but when I do, I don’t.
  • Boys/ Girls are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken.
  • You never know what you have until you have cleaned your house.
  • Whenever I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.

Funny Captions for Instagram

Use these funny captions for Instagram on your next post.

  • My excuse is that I’m young.
  • I had fun once, it was horrible.
  • When nothing is going right, go left.
  • I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.
  • Have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.
  • Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening.
Person taking photo of sunset with funny captions for Instagram
  • I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.
  • I invented a new word: Plagiarism.
  • Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
  • Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
  • Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
  • I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
  • Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You are glitter glue.
  • Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
  • Coffee makes my morning but Friday makes my week!


Ocean and sailboats with funny Instagram Friday captions
  • Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
  • Where are the average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
  • Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a “No Bell” prize.
  • “Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.
  • Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  • Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  • If you fall, I will be there. Signed, Floor.
  • 50 Shades of dark circles under my eyes.
  • Friday … Our second-favorite F word.
  • I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.
  • Wine is always the answer. What was the question again?
  • Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!
Hot air balloons at sunrise with funny Instagram captions
  • The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.
  • Vodka may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
  • My favorite subject in school was recess.
  • Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
  • We don’t know what’s tighter: Our jeans or our company culture.
  • Don’t worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
  • That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
  • My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.
  • I am standing outside. Therefore, if anyone asks, I am outstanding!
  • Who needs self-awareness when I can make you aware of me instead?
  • I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
  • I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.

Short Funny Captions

Here are some of our favorite short funny captions. You might also want to check out our list of Best Short Captions, One Word Captions and Two Word Captions.

  • Life is Short – Talk Fast!
  • The World is yours.
  • Put in work. Believe in it.
  • Monday hates you too.
  • Burn for what you love.
  • When nothing goes right, go left instead.
Flower on a cloudy day with short funny captions
  • Smile… it confuses people.
  • Hold on, let me overthink about it.
  • I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom-highlights.
  • The best is yet to come.
  • Some of my best friends are carbs.
  • If you never go, you will never know.
  • It’s never too early to go back to bed.
  • Time spent at the beach is never time wasted
Beach with cliffs and funny beach captions
  • Eat like no one is going to see you naked.
  • I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
  • No one will ever be there in “two minutes”
  • Fear is only temporary. Regrets last forever.
  • I am so tired of love songs. Oh, awesome, Ed Sheeran is on…

Funny Instagram Captions for Friends

These funny Instagram captions for friends will make you smile. And if you like these, you might like our lists of Short Friendship Quotes for Instagram, True Friendship Quotes and Best Friend Quotes.

  • Friends are the family you choose.
  • I’d take a nerf bullet for you.
  • Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  • If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real.
  • Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!!
People on dock at sunrise with funny Instagram captions for Friends
  • Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.
  • Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
  • Friends are therapists you can drink with.
  • You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.
  • Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.
  • A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
  • Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart.
  • Friends are the beaches of life.
Beach and cliffs with funny beach captions with friends
  • We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.
  • Good friends show their love in times of trouble, not just in times of happiness.
  • As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.
  • It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me.
  • Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face!
  • I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.

Funny Couple Captions

If you’re looking for funny couple captions, this section is for you. Check out our favorites from our list of funny couple captions for Instagram now. You might also like our lists of Short Love Quotes for captions as well as Romantic Quotes, True Love Quotes, I Love You Quotes for Her and I Love You Quotes for Him.

  • I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.
  • Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.
Hiking in mountains with funny couple captions
  • Let’s commit the perfect crime. I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine.
  • I am trying not to think about you but it’s not working.
  • By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me.
  • I always thought perfect couples only exist in books and movies. That changed when I met you.
  • I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.
  • Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you!
  • He stole my heart so I’m planning revenge… I am going to take his last name.
  • Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.
  • You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.
  • I love you to the beach and back.
Beach and waves with funny beach captions for couples
  • When a girl is in love, you can see it in her smile. When a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes.
  • You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
  • I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a carebear, I’d definitely fight a carebear for you.
  • Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Except for yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.
  • Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Birthday Captions

A few of our favorites from our list of Funny Birthday Captions.

  • Zoom-ing into my birthday week!
  • It’s my birthday and that’s the tea.
  • It’s my birthday; I can wine if I want to.
  • Hugs, kisses and birthday wishes.
  • Smiling into my birthday week!
  • Today is my birthday, and I’m riding high.
  • Sunshine and birthday wishes on my mind.
Sunset over ocean with funny 24th birthday captions
  • It’s midnight, which means it’s my birthday!
  • Telling everyone in sight that it’s my birthday!
  • Today’s the day I can wear this birthday crown!
  • Staring my birthday celebrations early this year!
  • My birthday, my rules.
  • Peace, love and birthday fun!
  • Peace, love and birthday cake.
  • Today’s the best day of the year: my birthday!
  • Birthdays are bigger in Texas.
People running into ocean with short funny birthday captions
  • Birthday hair and I don’t care.
  • Feeling cute, might celebrate my birthday later.
  • Getting my birthday glow on.
  • Pop the bubbly, it’s my birthday!
  • Wishing I had s’more birthday wishes.
  • Birthday wishes and butterfly kisses.
  • Tell me I’m pretty. It’s my birthday.
  • If you’re reading this, it’s my birthday.
  • Happy birthday to myself and I.
  • Is that a gray hair? Happy birthday to me.
  • Today is a whole new chapter! Happy birthday to me.
  • Ditching the gym and eating cake. Happy birthday to me!
Person looking at ocean with funny birthday captions for your 35th
  • Happy birthday to the funniest person I know — me.
  • My birthday should be a holiday.
  • I hope my birthday cake is as yummy as me.
  • My birthday wish is I want more birthday cake!
  • It’s my birthday and I’ll laugh all I want today.
  • I don’t usually brag, but when I do, it’s because it’s my birthday.
  • Today, I’m going to party like it’s my birthday. Oh wait, it is!
  • It’s proven by science that the more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you live.

Funny Graduation Captions

Some of the funnies captions from our list of Funny Graduation Captions.

  • Be bold. Be courageous. Be your best.
  • I came, I saw, I conquered.
  • The world is your oyster.
  • And so the adventure begins.
  • Whatever is good for your soul, that’s what you should do.
  • Every end has a new beginning.
  • I believed I could, so I did.
  • May your cap fly high
Above the clouds with short funny captions about graduation
  • Can I take a nap now?
  • I got the skills to pay the bills.
  • Turns out I wasn’t too cool for school.
  • Let me put that “hire me” sign on my front lawn now.
  • Graduate: (N.) A person who now has carpal tunnel from note-taking.
  • Very proud, very tired.
  • What, like it’s hard?
  • That’s all folks.
  • I already forgot everything.
  • Cheers to the memories.
  • Now, who is going to pay off these loans?
  • Next stop: Adulting
  • Proud of my B.S.
  • I graduated, so now I’m like all smart and stuff.
Sunset with funny graduation Instagram captions
  • I owe my diploma to coffee.
  • I’m 100% certain that I am zero percent sure of what I’m going to do.
  • Cap. Gown. It’s going down.
  • The first step is just showing up.
  • Take the risk, make the mistake. It’ll all be worth it.
  • I laugh without fear of the future.
  • The tassel was worth the hassle.
  • One step closer.
  • The sky’s the limit now.
  • I was here. I lived, I loved. I was here.
  • May your cap fly as high as your dreams.
  • No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks.
  • “Well, that was easy!” —no one ever.

Funny Selfie Captions

This category is for you if you’re looking for funny selfie captions. You can find the funniest selfie captions below and choose which funny captions for a selfie you like best then head to our full list of Cute Selfie Captions.

  • Me doing me.
  • Fresher than you.
  • I have no selfie control.
  • Did I make your heart skip a bit?
  • Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
  • I know that looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.
Person standing on dock with funny selfie captions
  • I took 37 of this pic before I finally got it right.
  • A selfie a day keeps the doctor away.
  • Confidence Level: Selfie with no filter.
  • A selfie once a day keeps the depression away
  • Be the EXTRA in extraordinary.
Person taking selfie with short funny captions for selfies
  • I may be down to earth but I’m still above you.
  • I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows
  • Too bad you can’t take selfies of your character.
  • I am not taking a selfie, I am just checking my camera quality.
  • After gossiping about me, please pray for me. I want to be perfect just like you.
  • Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
  • Please don’t download my Selfie, you may fall in love with me.

Hilarious Captions

Have some good laughs with these hilarious captions. Check these hilarious Instagram captions now.

  • I need some beach therapy
  • The best days are Beach days
  • Good Vibes happen on Tides
  • You make my heart skip a beat
  • If there’s a will, there’s a wave
Beach and blue water with hilarious captions
  • There’s snow place like home
  • You rock my Christmas socks
  • Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face
  • Somethings look very good in dreams
  • Best memories come from bad ideas
  • It’s okay even the sky cries sometimes
  • The smell of the ocean never gets old
  • But first, let me take an elfie
  • Sweater Weather is Better Together
  • Make it a December to Remember
  • Cooler than the other side of your pillow
  • Genius is in knowing what to hold on and when to let go.
  • Life is not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
  • Every day is a new day. It does not matter what happened yesterday. And you know why? Because you cannot change it anyways.
  • You never run out of things that can go wrong.
  • Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Beach and ocean with clever and funny captions
  • It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.
  • Don’t apologize for honest mistakes that were a result of taking a chance.
  • Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
  • I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
  • They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friend’s home!
  • I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
  • My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore.
  • I haven’t posted a selfie in a while but I still am very cute just to keep you updated.
  • Google earth view gives you an amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friend’s houses, and most places they have already been to!

Last Funny IG Captions

These last funny IG captions are worth browsing.

  • I’m on a date, she isn’t very social.
  • Confidence level: Kanye West.
  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  • I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
  • Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
  • Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
Hiker looking at mountains with funny IG captions
  • How do I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso
  • How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
  • For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
  • I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
  • Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
  • Reality called, so I hung up.
  • My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  • I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  • I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
  • A cop pulled me over and told me Papers, so I said Scissors, I win! And drove off.

Funny Sayings

Take a look at these funny sayings we don’t know who said first. And check out our list of Funny Sayings for more.

“Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.”

“I’m really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.”

“Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.”

“Don’t you wish they made a clap-on-clap-off device for some people’s mouths?”

They say don’t try this at home… so I went to my friend’s home!”

Desert and cactus with funny sayings
Funny Sayings

“I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven’t offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.”

“A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

“They say crime doesn’t pay. So does my current job make me a criminal?”

“There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.”

“According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.”

“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”

“A good mood is like a balloon: one prick is all it takes to ruin it.”

“The road to success is always under construction.”

“Any of us has the capacity to light up a room. Some when they enter, others when they leave it.”

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.”

“I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.”

“The only scenario where you really need a landline today is when you’re trying to find your cell phone.”

“Dental-Chair Revelation: Once you have your mouth open, dentists lose the ability to ask questions with a simple yes or no answer.”

Funny Instagram Quotes

Here are some of our favorite funny Instagram quotes. If you like funny quotes, check out our lists of Funny Good Morning Quotes, Funny Quotes of the Day, Funny Love Quotes, Funny Quotes About Life, Funny Inspirational Quotes and Funny Work Quotes.

“Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.” — Philander Johnson

“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” — Confucius

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” — Abraham Lincoln

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says “I’m possible.” — Audrey Hepburn

“Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”  — Thomas Edison

“I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway

Cliffs and ocean with funny quotes and sayings by Hemingway

“A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.” — Ljupka Cvetanova

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin

“I am only human, although I regret it.” — Mark Twain

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” — Arthur C. Clarke

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.” — Gilbert Gottfried

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” — Don Marquis

“I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.” — Seasick Steve

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”— Isaac Asimov

“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers

Person looking at sunset with short funny quotes of the day by Rogers

“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” — Thomas Sowell

“I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.” — Mark Twain

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” —  Steven Wright

“Life is too short to be reading quotes about life being too short. Stop reading and go live your life!” — Kevin Ngo

“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” — Jack Handey

Funny Short Quotes for Instagram

Consider the following funny short quotes for Instagram. You might also like our lists of Short Funny Quotes and Short Quotes.

“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” — Yogi Berra

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” — Steven Wright

“I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it.” — BIll Murray

“I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.” — H. Kyle Seale

“I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.” — Marc Maron

“When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” — Conan O’Brien

Blue ocean with short funny quotes by Conan O'Brien

“Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.” — Yogi Berra

“I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.” — Steven Wright

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — A. A. Milne

“It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.” — Bill Hicks

“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” — Steven Wright

“The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.” — Zach Galifianakis

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump

“To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.” — Paul R. Ehrlich

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” — Dale Carnegie

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles Schulz

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” — Robert Bloch

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” — Ashleigh Brilliant

So that’s our list! We hope we’ve helped you find the funny Instagram caption you were looking for.

If you like funny captions, you should also check out our lists of Funny Summer Captions, Funny Hiking Captions, Funny Graduation Captions, Funny Birthday Captions, Funny Halloween Captions, Funny Thanksgiving Captions, and Funny Christmas Captions.

If you have a favorite funny caption for Instagram we missed, please let us know in the comments.

Pin it for later!

Hiker in mountains

Other Quotes You Might Be Interested In:

Funny Friday Quotes

Funny Saturday Quotes

Funny Monday Quotes

Funny Summer Quotes

Funny Fall Quotes

Funny Winter Quotes

Funny Spring Quotes

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