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150 Funny Christmas Captions

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Christmas is almost here! The season of mistletoe, candy canes, visits from Santa, decorating trees and visiting with family. All of this means you will end up with so many amazing Christmas photos and need equally amazing and preferably funny captions because we think that when it comes to Christmas captions funny ones are the best. We have scoured the internet for the best funny Christmas captions including funny Christmas Instagram captions, short witty Christmas captions, and funny Christmas card captions.

So whether you are putting up the Christmas lights, decorating your tree, mixing the perfect Christmas drink, or looking forward to Santa’s visit you will find the perfect funny caption about Christmas here.

If you like captions for the holiday season check out our lists of:

Jump ahead to your favorite category or just start scrolling to find your favorite funny caption on Christmas.

Funny Christmas Captions

Here are our favorite funny Christmas captions. If you like these you might also like our list of Funny Captions.

  • I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red
  • Dear Santa…can you please define “nice?”
  • Christmas is coming
  • Dear Santa…I can explain
Blurred Christmas tree with funny Christmas captions
  • Being good for goodness’ sake was not enough motivation
  • Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases
  • We’re just a bunch of candy canes—sweet and slightly twisted
  • 100% on the naughty list
  • All I want for Christmas is you (and maybe some Christmas cookies, too)
  • It’s beginning to *cost* a lot like Christmas…
  • Christmas break to-do list: Eat, drink, nap
  • You had me at ho ho ho
Skating Santa holding a small tree with funny Christmas captions that says You had me at ho ho ho
  • Drink up grinches
  • Believe in your elf
  • Eat, drink, and be merry
  • The battle between me and carbs is the real war this Christmas
  • May your regifting practice go undetected this year
  • Sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
  • Snowy hair, don’t care. It’s Christmas!
  • The reason why we should always jingle all the way is because nobody likes half-assed jingles
  • Drink up, Grinches! It’s Christmas
  • Let’s go to the kitchen and whisk everyone a merry Christmas
  • Christmas Eve is the one night I’m looking forward to morning
  • Ooooooh. We thought you said, “Christmas BEER.”
Candy canes and snowflakes with a funny Christmas captions for Instagram that says sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
  • Hot chocolate weather
  • All I want for Christmas is…food!
  • The snuggle is real
  • Christmas calories don’t count!
  • Besides the tree, guess who’s going to get lit all day?
  • December 25th is the only day I become a morning person
  • All my savings just disappeared! Is this what they meant by Christmas wonder?
  • I put the “ho” in “ho, ho, ho!”
  • Today, I will sleigh Christmas!
  • Leading up to the worst night’s sleep all year
  • Making it count because Christmas only comes once a year
  • I smell presents!
  • For your present, it’s either a warm hug or a snug choke-hold. Choose wisely!
  • But first, let me take an elfie.
  • Have I been naughty this year? Well, I hope one of the reindeer eats the “naughty” list
  • Ho-ho-home for Christmas!
Christmas decorations on a table with clever Christmas captions
  • My spirit animal is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
  • You better not pout
  • I’ve decided to give everyone my opinion instead of presents this year. Be excited!
  • It is socially acceptable to let my siblings wear the same PJ’s as me tonight
  • Dear Santa: This isn’t what it looks like
  • Feelin’ frosty
  • Son of a nutcracker!
  • Ho, ho, ho? More like ha, ha, ha!
  • Here’s my resting Grinch face

Funny Christmas Instagram Captions

If you are looking for funny Christmas Instagram captions his is the section for you.

  • You know it’s Christmas when your wallet is empty but your heart is full
  • Christmas cheer? I thought I heard Christmas beer.
  • My fat pants are ready
  • Dear big, fat, judgmental jerk, I just want to tell you that I’ve been naughty this year and it was all worth it!
  • My presence is really the only gift you need. Merry Christmas!
  • All spruced up and ready to jingle the night away
Christmas decorations and sassy Christmas captions that says all spruced up and ready to jingle the night away
  • Getting more lit than the Christmas tree
  • Bah, humbug!
  • You can find us under the mistletoe
  • All I want for Christmas is you… and cookies… and hot chocolate
  • Rockin’ each other’s Christmas socks
  • What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe
  • Hope you enjoy this “elfie” from us

If you like this caption head to our list of Cute Selfie Captions for more.

Wrapped presents from above and funny Christmas captions for couples
  • No lying… We’ve been more naughty than nice!
  • If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!
  • We go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows
  • This one had me at “ho ho ho”!
  • Merry Christmas! Now, excuse us while we head back to the mistletoe

Short Witty Christmas Captions

If you like a good pun, these witty Christmas captions and puns are for you.

  • Your presents is requested
  • Shake it like a pole-oriod picture
  • A mistle-toast to the holiday season
Mistletoe and a bow with funny Christmas puns that says a mistle-toast to the holiday season
  • But wait—there’s myrrh
  • Sleigh my name, sleigh my name
  • I love you from head to mistletoe
  • It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
  • Oh, deer
  • Yule be sorry
  • The Christmas alphabet has noel
  • All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies
  • Hold on for deer life
  • Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental
  • Sugar and spice make the holidays nice
  • ’Tis the season to sparkle and shine
  • Happy Holi-yays!
Christmas wreath on a door with a funny Holidays captions that says happy holi-days
  • My holiday weight gain is in no way an indication of increased jolliness
  • ‘Tis the season to be freezin’
  • Happy Holidays! Let the bingeing begin!
  • ‘Tis the season to sparkle
  • I like Santa Claus because he only visits once a year. Every guest should follow his example
  • Be naughty, save Santa the trip
  • I want a fat bank account and a slim waist for Christmas this year. You better not mix those two up, Santa!
  • It’s a good thing Santa didn’t see my browser history
  • It’s all fun and games ’till Santa checks the naughty list
Two pine cones with funny santa hats and Santa Captions
  • Santa, stop here. We have cookies.
  • I feel better knowing Santa will also be unemployed after Christmas

Funny Christmas Decorating Captions

  • The weather outside is frightful, but my Christmas tree is so delightful
  • This tree is feelin’ merry and bright
  • Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle
  • My tree is set to sparkle
  • Decorating the tree is always snow much fun
  • Tinsel hair. Don’t care.
  • This tree is going to sleigh all day
  • Never underestimate my ability to buy a bigger Christmas tree
Tree with presents under and a funny Christmas tree captions
  • My favorite color is evergreen with a hint of tinsel
  • The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks
  • Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!
  • Christmas tree o’ Christmas tree, your ornaments are history
  • It’s looking like a Charlie Brown tree kinda year
  • You, me and the perfect Christmas tree
Christmas tree with lights and a love Christmas tree caption
  • Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift
  • Break out the ornaments and let the decorating begin
  • Coffee. Christmas music. Now let’s decorate!
  • Why can’t the Christmas trees knit? Because they always drop their needles!
  • My favorite smell is Christmas tree
Close up of tree and decorations and Christmas tree captions the says my favorite smell is Christmas tree
  • Keep calm and decorate on
  • Who wants CANDY CANES?!!!
  • Cue the twinkly lights
  • Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright
  • My favourite color is Christmas lights
  • Fairy lights on Christmas night
Close up of Christmas tree with Christmas lights captions
  • Leave a little sparkle wherever you go
  • When in doubt, add more sparkle
  • Christmas is too sparkly… said no one ever
  • Like the Christmas lights, let’s get lit!
  • Decking the halls in sparkles
  • It’s a hot chocolate and tree decorating kind of day
  • We’ve got chemis-tree

Funny Christmas Card Captions

When its time to send out those cards we can make it easier with this list of funny Christmas card captions. We also have lists of Christmas Greetings and Christmas Wishes that are perfect for cards.

  • It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
  • Have a cool yule and swell noel
  • I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you
  • Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better bring good beer
  • Santa ho ho hopes you’ve been good this year
Santa and sleigh in sky with funny Christmas card captions
  • All I want for Christmas is see the link to my wish list
  • Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.
  • Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting a muumuu and a Bible for Christmas
  • Christmas is Claus for celebration!
  • May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram
  • May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few
White tree decoration with cute Merry Christmas captions on top
  • I put so much thought into your gift, that I never got around to actually buying it. Merry Christmas, anyway!
  • Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip
  • On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?
  • May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list
  • Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!
Blue ornaments with a funny Christmas wishes on top
  • Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday
  • A Christmas Conspiracy: Olive, the other reindeer…
  • Yoda caroling: A Merry Christmas, we wish you. A Merry Christmas, we wish you
  • It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas
  • I hope you’re less like Santa, and visit me more than once a year

Short Funny Christmas Quotes for Instagram

These short funny Christmas quotes for Instagram work perfectly for a caption and your followers will love them! They are our favorites from our list of Best Funny Christmas Quotes. Also check out our full list of Short Christmas Quotes, Cute Christmas Quotes, Christmas Family Quotes, Christmas Quotes for Friends and Christmas Tree Quotes.

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan

Pine needles with a bow around them and a funny short Christmas quotes by Gary Allan

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear

Related Post: Perfect Pumpkin Captions

“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!” – Charles N Barnard

“Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.” – Bill Bryson

Decorated tree with a funny Christmas tree quotes by Bill Bryson

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.” – Bridger Winegar

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Will Ferrell, “Elf”

“Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.” – Andy Borowitz

Wrapped [resents and decorations with funny short Christmas quotes by Any Borowitz

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening

“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” – Anon

“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” – Catherine Tate

“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time I hear Christmas music.” – Tom Sims

Closeup of tree and ornaments with funny Christmas quotes by Tom Sims

“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” – Frank McKinney Hubbard

Hope you found the perfect funny captions for Christmas for your next Instagram post or Christmas photo.

If you like Christmas quotes, sayings, wishes and captions check out our lists of Short Christmas Quotes, Funny Christmas Quotes, Cute Christmas Quotes, Christmas Family Quotes, Christmas Tree Quotes, Christmas Quotes for Friends, Christmas Sayings, Christmas Wishes, Funny Christmas Wishes, Short Christmas Wishes, Christmas Wishes for Family and Christmas Wishes for Friends.

Check out our list of Best December Quotes and Captions for the most festive month of the year and Short New Year’s Quotes for when you are ready to ring in the new year.

Let us know in the comments below if we missed a funny caption about Christmas that should be added.

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Christmas decorations

About the Author

Laynni Locke

Laynni Locke

Laynni has been sharing her travel adventures and day-to-day life on Routinely Nomadic social media for over 15 years and appreciates the importance of finding the perfect quote or caption to showcase those experiences. Putting her extensive writing and education background to good use, Laynni has become passionate about researching and curating comprehensive lists of all the best quotes and captions for every occasion.

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