Christmas is almost here! The season of mistletoe, candy canes, visits from Santa, decorating trees and visiting with family. All of this means you will end up with so many amazing Christmas photos and need equally amazing and preferably funny captions. We have scoured the internet for the best funny Christmas captions including funny Christmas captions for Instagram, clever Christmas captions, sassy Christmas captions, funny Christmas captions for couples, short funny Christmas quotes for Instagram, funny Christmas puns, funny Holiday captions, funny Santa captions, and funny Christmas card captions.
So whether you are putting up the Christmas lights, decorating your tree, mixing the perfect Christmas drink, or looking forward to Santa’s visit you will find the perfect funny caption about Christmas here.
Jump ahead to your favorite category or just start scrolling to find your favorite funny caption on Christmas.
Funny Christmas Captions
Here are our favorite funny Christmas captions.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red
Dear Santa…can you please define “nice?”
Christmas is coming
Dear Santa…I can explain
Being good for goodness’ sake was not enough motivation
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases
We’re just a bunch of candy canes—sweet and slightly twisted
100% on the naughty list
All I want for Christmas is you (and maybe some Christmas cookies, too)
It’s beginning to *cost* a lot like Christmas…
Christmas break to-do list: Eat, drink, nap
You had me at ho ho ho
Drink up grinches
Funny Christmas Captions for Instagram
If you are looking for funny Christmas captions for Instagram this is the section for you.
Believe in your elf
Eat, drink, and be merry
The battle between me and carbs is the real war this Christmas
May your regifting practice go undetected this year
Sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
Snowy hair, don’t care. It’s Christmas!
The reason why we should always jingle all the way is because nobody likes half-assed jingles
Drink up, Grinches! It’s Christmas
Let’s go to the kitchen and whisk everyone a merry Christmas
Christmas Eve is the one night I’m looking forward to morning
Ooooooh. We thought you said, “Christmas BEER.”
Funny and Clever Christmas Captions
Check out these clever Christmas captions that will make you smile.
Hot chocolate weather
All I want for Christmas is…food!
The snuggle is real
Christmas calories don’t count!
Besides the tree, guess who’s going to get lit all day?
December 25th is the only day I become a morning person
All my savings just disappeared! Is this what they meant by Christmas wonder?
I put the “ho” in “ho, ho, ho!”
Today, I will sleigh Christmas!
Leading up to the worst night’s sleep all year
Making it count because Christmas only comes once a year
Witty Christmas Captions
These witty Christmas captions are definitely good for a chuckle.
I smell presents!
For your present, it’s either a warm hug or a snug choke-hold. Choose wisely!
But first, let me take an elfie.
Have I been naughty this year? Well, I hope one of the reindeer eats the “naughty” list
Ho-ho-home for Christmas!
My spirit animal is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You better not pout
I’ve decided to give everyone my opinion instead of presents this year. Be excited!
It is socially acceptable to let my siblings wear the same PJ’s as me tonight
Dear Santa: This isn’t what it looks like
Funny and Sassy Christmas Captions
We think these sassy Christmas captions add a bit of humor to any picture.
Son of a nutcracker!
Ho, ho, ho? More like ha, ha, ha!
Here’s my resting Grinch face
You know it’s Christmas when your wallet is empty but your heart is full
Christmas cheer? I thought I heard Christmas beer.
My fat pants are ready
Dear big, fat, judgmental jerk, I just want to tell you that I’ve been naughty this year and it was all worth it!
My presence is really the only gift you need. Merry Christmas!
All spruced up and ready to jingle the night away
Getting more lit than the Christmas tree
Funny Christmas Captions for Couples
Check out these funny Christmas captions for couples for when you are posting that perfect – or maybe not so perfect – couple pic.
You can find us under the mistletoe
All I want for Christmas is you… and cookies… and hot chocolate
Rockin’ each other’s Christmas socks
What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe
Hope you enjoy this “elfie” from us
No lying… We’ve been more naughty than nice!
If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!
We go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows
This one had me at “ho ho ho”!
Merry Christmas! Now, excuse us while we head back to the mistletoe
Short Funny Christmas Quotes for Instagram
These short funny Christmas quotes for Instagram work perfectly for a caption and your followers will love them! They are our favorites from our list of Best Funny Christmas Quotes. Also check out our full list of Short Christmas Quotes, Cute Christmas Quotes and Christmas Tree Quotes.
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear
Related Post: Perfect Pumpkin Captions
“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!” – Charles N Barnard
“Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.” – Bill Bryson
“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.” – Bridger Winegar
“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Will Ferrell, “Elf”
“Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.” – Andy Borowitz
“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening
“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” – Anon
“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” – Catherine Tate
“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul
“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” – Frank McKinney Hubbard
Funny Christmas Puns
If you like a good pun, these funny Christmas puns are for you.
Your presents is requested
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture
A mistle-toast to the holiday season
But wait—there’s myrrh
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name
I love you from head to mistletoe
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
Yule be sorry
The Christmas alphabet has noel
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies
Hold on for deer life
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental
Funny Holiday Captions
Sometimes all you need are funny holiday captions.
Sugar and spice make the holidays nice
’Tis the season to sparkle and shine
My holiday weight gain is in no way an indication of increased jolliness
‘Tis the season to be freezin’
Happy Holidays! Let the bingeing begin!
‘Tis the season to sparkle
Funny Santa Captions
We love these funny Santa captions and so will you.
I like Santa Claus because he only visits once a year. Every guest should follow his example
Be naughty, save Santa the trip
I want a fat bank account and a slim waist for Christmas this year. You better not mix those two up, Santa!
It’s a good thing Santa didn’t see my browser history
It’s all fun and games ’till Santa checks the naughty list
Santa, stop here. We have cookies.
I feel better knowing Santa will also be unemployed after Christmas
Funny Christmas Tree Captions
Check out these funny Christmas tree captions from our list of Perfect Christmas Tree Captions.
The weather outside is frightful, but my Christmas tree is so delightful
This tree is feelin’ merry and bright
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle
My tree is set to sparkle
Decorating the tree is always snow much fun
Tinsel hair. Don’t care.
This tree is going to sleigh all day
Never underestimate my ability to buy a bigger Christmas tree
My favorite color is evergreen with a hint of tinsel
The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!
Christmas tree o’ Christmas tree, your ornaments are history
It’s looking like a Charlie Brown tree kinda year
Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift
Break out the ornaments and let the decorating begin
My favorite smell is Christmas tree
Coffee. Christmas music. Now let’s decorate!
Why can’t the Christmas trees knit? Because they always drop their needles!
Keep calm and decorate on
Who wants CANDY CANES?!!!
It’s a hot chocolate and tree decorating kind of day
We’ve got chemis-tree
Funny Christmas Card Captions
When its time to send out those cards we can make it easier with this list of funny Christmas card captions.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
Have a cool yule and swell noel
I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you
Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better bring good beer
Santa ho ho hopes you’ve been good this year
All I want for Christmas is see the link to my wish list
Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.
Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting a muumuu and a Bible for Christmas
Christmas is Claus for celebration!
May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram
May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few
I put so much thought into your gift, that I never got around to actually buying it. Merry Christmas, anyway!
Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list
Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday
A Christmas Conspiracy: Olive, the other reindeer…
Yoda caroling: A Merry Christmas, we wish you. A Merry Christmas, we wish you
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas
I hope you’re less like Santa, and visit me more than once a year
Funny Christmas Lights Captions
After you get the Christmas lights up you can use these funny Christmas lights captions.
Cue the twinkly lights
Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright
My favourite color is Christmas lights
Fairy lights on Christmas night
Leave a little sparkle wherever you go
When in doubt, add more sparkle
Christmas is too sparkly… said no one ever
Like the Christmas lights, let’s get lit!
Decking the halls in sparkles
Funny Winter Captions
Every day I’m shovelin’
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that make snow angels
Chillin’ with my mug and blanket just like Baby Yoda
When it snows you have two choices. Shovel or snow angels.
Winter is warmer when we are laughing
‘Tis the season to be freezin
Winter is like fall except you need five pairs of leggings instead of one
You are never too old for a snowball fight
Friends are the hot chocolate in winter season
Sleigh all day
Freeze the day
Wake me up when it’s summer
Hot chocolate weather
Snowy hair don’t care
It’s colder than my soul out here!
Watch your step – it could be your last
Apologizing in advance for the things I say this winter
Funny Snow Captions
If you are looking to add some humor then have a look through these funny snow captions from our list of Perfect Snow Captions.
It’s freezing—snow joke!
It was love at frost sight
It’s snow laughing matter
Adorable snowmen make me melt
Snow glad to see you!
Let it snow…. but not on my hair
Go out there and earn your hot cocoa
Ice to see you!
Bring on the snow day!
When life gives you snow, make snow angels
Keep calm and snow day on!
Frozen fingers and eskimo kisses
Up to snow good
There’s snowplace like home
Snow happens, hot chocolate helps
Help! There’s snow way out of here
Looking a lot like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
I see snow… so, where’s Elsa?
Let it snow… somewhere else!
Hope you found the perfect funny captions for Christmas for your next Instagram post or Christmas photo.
Let us know in the comments below if we missed a funny caption about Christmas that should be added.
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