Funny December Quotes: 95 Funny December Sayings for 2023

December is here and so is the holiday season. Cue the chilly weather and Christmas music! We have put together a list of all the best funny December quotes because we think that when it comes to December quotes, funny ones are the best. We also included some funny December sayings and funny December captions for good measure.

December also has most people’s favorite holiday – Christmas! So get out there and enjoy everything about the most cheerful month of the year.

If you like these funny quotes for December, you can also check out our related lists:

Now scroll on through and find your favorite funny quotes on December!

Table of Contents

Funny December Quotes

Here are a few of our favorite funny December quotes.

“I wander forth this chill December dawn: John Frost and all his elves are out, I see, As busy as the elfin world can be, Clothing a world asleep with fleecy lawn.” – Robert Buchanan

“The crisp path through the field in this December snow, in the deep dark, where we trod the buried grass like ghosts on dry toast.” – Dylan Thomas

“And last December drear, with piteous low-drooped head. In a voice of desolation crying out, The year is dead. And so, with changeful gear, with smile or frown or song, the months, in strange variation, are ever gliding along.” – Edgar Fawcett

“If we make it through December, everything’s gonna be alright I know; it’s the coldest time of winter and I shiver when I see the falling snow.” – Merle Haggard

“December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.” – Mark Twain

Snowy trees with funny December quotes by Mark Twain

“December was a horrible month.” – Sandy Bryant

“God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.” – James M. Barrie

“I heard a bird sing in the dark of December. A magical thing. And sweet to remember. We are nearer to spring than we were in September. I heard a bird sing in the dark of December.” – Oliver Herford

“Of all the months of the year there is not a month one half so welcome to the young, or so full of happy associations, as the last month of the year.” – Charles Dickens

“This looks like a December day, it looks like we’ve come to the end of the way.” – Willie Nelson

“Michigan isn’t just cold in December; it’s arctic.” – Daniel Milstein

“Chill December brings the sleet, Blazing fire, and Christmas treat.” – Sara Coleridge

“It is December, and nobody asked if I was ready.” – Sarah Kay

“I detest ‘Jingle Bells,’ ‘White Christmas,’ ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,’ and the obscene spending bonanza that nowadays seems to occupy not just December, but November and much of October, too.” – Richard Dawkins

“December’s wintery breath is already clouding the pond, frosting the pane, obscuring summer’s memory.” – John Geddes

“I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?” – Catherine O’Hara

“Someone asked me when is my birthday? The poet inside me replied, My birthday is on the last day of the year. It’s st December my dear!” – Anamika Mishra

“Every December, I host a tree-trimming party. I serve chili with cornbread and lots of good wine. It’s a wonderful party, and it shows how much adults like to play.” – Maya Angelou

Blurry decorated tree with the Christmas tree is up quotes by Rachel Boston

“As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.” – Donald E. Westlake

“When December comes, can ‘The Nutcracker’ be far behind? No, it can’t, not in America, anyway.” – Robert Gottlieb

“In December ring Every day the chimes; Loud the gleemen sing In the streets their merry rhymes. Let us by the fire Ever higher Sing them till the night expire!” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“How like a winter hath my absence been. From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year. What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen? What old December’s bareness everywhere.” – William Shakespeare

Snowy trees by a river with funny snow day quotes by Nancy Woodward

“The sun that brief December day Rose cheerless over hills of gray, And, darkly circled, gave at noon A sadder light than waning moon.” – John Greenleaf Whittier

“The smallest snowstorm on record took place an hour ago in my back yard. It was approximately two flakes. I waited for more to fall, but that was it.” ― Richard Brautigan

“The very fact of snow is such an amazement.” – Roger Ebert

“You can’t get too much winter in the winter.” – Robert Frost

Short Funny December Quotes

When it comes to December quotes, funny and short ones are often the best. You might also like our lists of Funny Short Quotes and Very Short Quotes.

“It is never over, though we are in December.” – Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“Remember this December, that love weighs more than gold.” – Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon

“There’s something super special about December.” – Charmaine J. Forde

“December 25th has become guilt and obligation.” – Phil Donahue

“You skins is so cold and dry. Like you are also afraid so this coming December.” – Moaz Zulfiqar

“I’ve come to sing you a song called December.” – Ryan Murphy

Decorations with short funny December quotes by Murphy

“If it’s December in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?” – Howard Koch

“A bare tree stands with roots on both ends in December days.” – Kiran Bantawa

“Will love be true as December frost, or fickle and fall like the rose in June?” – Clement Scott

“The gardening season officially begins on January 1st, and ends on December.” – Marie Huston

“Will you love me in December as you do in May?” – Jack Kerouac

“I get excited for big games in December.” – Jon Gruden

Woman walking in forest in the snow with a funny short December quotes on top

“People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.” – Anton Chekhov

“Imagine if fire extinguishers were full of snow. Imagine the fun we could have.” – Neil Hilborn

“Sometimes I would like to be a child again, and other times a woman made of snow.” – Deirdre Sullivan

“A man says a lot of things in summer he doesn’t mean in winter.” – Patricia Briggs

“When snow falls, nature listens.” – Antoinette Van Kleeff

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” – Carl Reiner

Funny Quotes About December Weather

Here are some funny quotes about December weather. If you like funny quotes and sayings, you should also check out our lists of Funny Good Morning Quotes, Funny Love Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Funny Quotes of the Day, Funny Quotes About Life and Funny Inspirational Quotes

“Do your heart and head keep pace? When does hoary Love expire, when do frosts put out the fire? Can its embers burn below all that chill December snow?” – Edmund Clarence Stedman

“It was snowing. It was always snowing at Christmas. December, in my memory, is white as Lapland, though there were no reindeers. But there were cats.” – Dylan Thomas

“If the October days were a cordial like the sub-acids of fruit, these are a tonic like the wine of iron. Drink deep or be careful how you taste this December vintage. The first sip may chill, but a full draught warms and invigorates.” – John Burroughs

“Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories.” – Deborah Kerr

“The cold is coming. December’s winter solstice.” – Robert Pettit

Kid on sled with funny quotes about December weather by Pettit

“Nothing burns like the cold.” – George R. R. Martin

“There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.” – Billy Connolly

“There is October in every November and there is November in every December! All seasons melted in each other’s life!.” – Mehmet Murat ildan

“May and October, the best-smelling months? I’ll make a case for December: evergreen, frost, wood smoke, cinnamon.” – Lisa Kleypas

“Who is not a love seeker when December comes? Even children pray to Santa Claus.” – Rod McKuen

Frozen lake with a funny snowflake quotes and sayings by Terry Pratchett

“There’s no such thing as bad weather, just soft people.”- Bill Bowerman

“It was the kind of snow that brought children running out their doors, made them turn their faces skyward, and spin in circles with their arms outstretched.” – Eowyn Ivey

“When dark December glooms the day, and takes our autumn joys away.” – Walter Scott

“I blink January’s lashes and gush down December’s cheeks.” – Sanober Khan

“I’ve come to believe that whoever I am didn’t start on December, and isn’t going to end on whatever that mysterious date is in the future.” – Patty Duke

“Men are April when they woo, December when they wed. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives.” – William Shakespeare

Hiker on snowy trail with cute funny quotes about snow by Arisotle

“Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.” – P.J. O’Rourke

“My December is typically one big, sweaty ‘wintry mix’ blur, not a punch-laden, heartwarming mixer.” – Emily Weiss

“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” – Dr. Seuss

“I have forgotten much, but still remember The poinsiana’s red, blood-red in warm December.” – Claude McKay

“I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble, but there is no scriptural or historical basis for December 25th actually being the day that Jesus was born.” – Charity Sunshine Tillemann-Dick

“December, being the last month of the year, cannot help but make us think of what is to come.” – Fennel Hudson

Snowman with snow day quotes from Frozen

“He had been walking for a long time, ever since dark in fact, and dark falls soon in December.” – Charlotte Riddell

“I watched you storm towards the restaurant door. It was a chilly December morning and the birds sitting on the high wires in the neighborhood refused to fly any longer.” – Malak El Halabi

“I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.” – Bill Watterson

“To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold.” – Aristotle

“It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.” – Dylan Thomas

Funny December Sayings

These funny December sayings will make you smile. We also have a general list of Funny Sayings.

Gingerbread hugs and peppermint kisses to all!
Happy December – I love that I live in a world where there are Decembers
Today is the first day of December which means it’s time to celebrate!
Welcome December. I’m loving the start of holiday season!
December? More like Decembrrrrr, am I right?

Snowy river and trees and a funny December saying

If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!
They who sing through the summer must dance in the winter.
Winter is like fall except you need five pairs of leggings instead of one.
Cue everyone saying they can’t believe that there are only one month left in the year.
My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on.
Let’s laugh all day, play like there’s not tomorrow, and jingle all the way!

Frosty trees at sunrise with funny winter sayings

The 1st day of December has arrived, and it’s time to get ready for Christmas sweaters.
All the pathways lead to home for the holidays
Brace yourselves, December is coming.
A snowball in the face is surely the perfect way to start winter
Welcome December! Nice to see you!
Mistletoe, snow and Christmas ornaments

Funny Christmas Quotes

Here are a few of our favorites from our list of Funny Christmas Quotes. You might also like Short Christmas Quotes, Christmas Tree Quotes and Christmas Quotes for Friends.

“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.” – Tom Sims

”I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” — Maya Angelou

“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” — Bob Phillips

Santa with funny Santa Instagram quotes by Phillips

“I don’t want Christmas season to end, because it’s the only time I can legitimately indulge in on particular addiction: glitter.” — Eloisa James

“Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” — Stephen Jones

”Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” — Gary Allan

Pine needles with a bow around them and a funny short Christmas quotes by Gary Allan

“Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.”— Charles M. Schulz

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” — Henny Youngman

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” — Andy Borowitz

“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” — Phyllis Diller

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.” — Bart Simpson

“You can’t fool me—there ain’t no Sanity Clause!” — Chico Marx

Ornaments with funny Christmas quotes about family by Victor Borge

“There’s something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh.” — Kristen Wiig

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” — Kin Hubbard

“Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.” — Andy Borowitz

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” — Elf

“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” — Robert Paul

“‘White Christmas’ is the ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ of Christmas songs.” ― Stewart Stafford

“It may be a cliche, but it’s true – the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself.” – Julie Burchill

“Son of a nutcracker!” – Buddy in Elf

Christmas decorations on a table with funny Christmas quotes from movies on Elf

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ like, every other song. And that’s just not enough. — Bridger Winegar.

“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.” — Elf

“Christmas shopping. Never an easy or a pleasant task.” – Harry in Love Actually

“Cheer up, dude. It’s Christmas.” — The Grinch

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” — Larry Wilde

Funny Winter Quotes

Here are some of our favorites from our list of Funny Winter Quotes. If you are interested in more winter quotes, you should also check out our list of Short Winter Quotes, Winter Solstice Quotes, Funny Snow Quotes, Snow Day Quotes and Snowflake Quotes.

“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.” -Dave Barry

“Winter is the time of promise because there is so little to do – or because you can now and then permit yourself the luxury of thinking so.” – Stanley Crawford

“The very fact of snow is such an amazement.” – Roger Ebert

Snowy cliffs and trees lining river with funny winter quotes by Neil Hilborn

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” – Hal Borland

“I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.” – T. S. Eliot

“Snow brings a special quality with it—the power to stop life as you know it dead in its tracks.” – Nancy Hatch Woodward

“Snow flurries began to fall and they swirled around people’s legs like house cats. It was magical, this snow globe world.” – Sarah Addison Allen, ‘The Sugar Queen’