Easter is coming! If you’re looking for some new ideas and the most hilarious quotes to celebrate the holiday, you’ve come to the right place! We think that when it comes to Easter quotes, funny ones are the best ones so we’ve collected the best funny Easter quotes to surprise your friends and family. This collection includes short funny quotes about Easter, cute funny quotes for Easter, funny quotes about spring for Easter, funny Easter bunny quotes, funny Easter sayings, funny Easter wishes and messages and funny Easter captions.
Make your friends and family smile by sharing these funny Easter quotes.
If you like funny quotes and sayings, you should also check out our lists of Funny Good Morning Quotes, Funny Love Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Funny Quotes of the Day, Funny Quotes About Life and Funny Inspirational Quotes
Skip ahead to the category you like best or continue scrolling to find your favorite funny Easter quote.
Funny Easter Quotes
These funny Easter quotes will make you smile.
“You’ll wake up on Easter morning, And you’ll know that he was there, When you find those choc’late bunnies, That he’s hiding ev’rywhere.” — Gene Autry
“The real reason Easter is on a different day each year is because sometimes it’s difficult to remember which lie you told.” — Jimmy Carr
“Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.” — Fred Allen
“Easter is a time for dressing up, looking your best, and hunting for candy. It’s Halloween in reverse.” — Melanie White
“When you’re grown up you realize that it’s not the number of Easter eggs you find that’s important, but how many are dark chocolate.” — Melanie White
“A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, “When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off”.” — Jon Stewart
“Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead – and we get chocolate eggs. It’s like turn-down service from God.” — Denis Leary
“What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith and imagination, each with a payoff. Like cognitive training exercises.” — Chuck Palahniuk
“My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.” — Adam Ferrara
“Easter is of course to celebrate Jesus returning from the dead. Fair enough, it is difficult to resist a packet of mini eggs isn’t it?” — Jimmy Carr
“Someone must X-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I’m not talking about this past Easter. I’m talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.” — Bill Maher
“Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket.” — Evan Esar
“In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it, you’ll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade.” — Irving Berlin
“Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.” —Garrison Keillor
“We have Christmas and Thanksgiving, and Easter, although we’re not exactly sure we celebrate them on the right days.” — Henry De Vere Stacpoole
March me down to the seven seas. Bury me with a ruby ring. Kiss me baby on an Easter Sunday day. Make my haze blow away. I said blow away.” — The Black Crowes
“After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, a young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one.” — Jim Kraus
“Christmas and Easter can be subjects for poetry, but Good Friday, like Auschwitz, cannot. The reality is so horrible it is not surprising that people should have found it a stumbling block to faith.” — W.H. Auden
“Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.” — Fran Lebowitz
“Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.” — Henny Youngman
Short Funny Quotes About Easter
Explore our list of short funny quotes about Easter below. If you like these, you can also check out our list of Short Funny Quotes.
“Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.” — Jack Handy
“Easter: Hide & Seek with eggs.” — Melanie White
“My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.” — Amy Sedaris
“I wanted to give up my children for Lent, but nobody would take them.” — Melanie White
“Easter has been cancelled – they found the body.” — Jim Butcher
“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!” — Lucy Van Pelt
“There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
“If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate!” — Unknown
“Easter may not take the cake, but it does take all the cake coloring.” — Melanie White
“Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.” — Clarence W. Hall
“No presents for Christmas? That’s like Easter without high-stakes poker.” — Steven Levitan
“Easter is not a passport to another world; it is a quality of perception for this one.” — W.P. Lemon
“Easter, so longed for, is gone in a day.” — James Howell
“Too many women think Easter Sunday is Decoration Day.” — Evan Esar
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s Party!” – Robin Williams
“Easter is not the celebration of the cost of sin, but of its end.” — Gene Skaggs Jr
“The last time was Easter morning. The church bells were ringing.” — Maurice Maeterlinck
“Throwing hats up in the air. A city perfect in every detail. Easter parade.” — Paul Gnerard Buchana
“Easter. The joy of candy, colors, creativity and costuming. A season unlike any other.” — Grant Morrison
“Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.” — Pope John Paul II (Karol Wojtyła)
Cute Funny Quotes for Easter
These cute funny quotes for Easter will brighten up your day. You might also like our list of Short Cute Quotes.
“Easter shopping tip: When buying your daughter that frilly new Easter dress, try to visualize how it’ll look with chocolate and grass stains all over it.” — Melanie White
“My father was so cheap. Every Easter we’d wear the same clothes, but he’d take us to a different church.” — A. J. Jamal
“Easter combines the best of the present with the traditions of the past – like Cadbury cream eggs with hunting and gathering.” — Melanie White
“I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit… left chocolate eggs in the night.” — Bill Hicks
“They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don’t find the eggs, they get booed.” — Bob Uecker
“I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.” — Caroline Rhea
“Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics.” — Marvin Olasky
“Lent was invented so Catholics could take another shot at their New Year’s resolutions.” — Melanie White
“If you believe in the Easter Bunny, it means you believe in a fat, purple bunny, which is pooping multi-color eggs in your garden.” — Alex Antunes
“Here’s the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.” — Denis Leary
“Forget the Easter bunny. I need one that can do me some good – like the Energizer bunny.” — Melanie White
“Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.” — S.D. Gordon
“Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and new life.” — Janine di Giovanni
“Christmas and Easter bring wonderful treasures, but spirits and pumpkins bring far greater pleasures.” — George Tibbles
“Every day’s a rebirth. Every day is Easter. Just remember to color your eggs happy colors, like yellow and baby blue.” — Mark Ellinger
“I’m waiting for the Easter Wabbit. When he comes in looking so fluffy and cute with his wittle basket of Easter eggs… BANG! Easter Wabbit stew.” — Warren Foster
“For I remember it is Easter morn, And life and love and peace are all new born.” — Alice Freeman Palmer
“All excited for Easter. The cross is up and completely decorated.” — Albert Brooks
“No matter how chaotic it is, wildflowers will still spring up in the middle of nowhere.” — Sheryl Crow
“‘Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees Filled all the air with fragrance and with joy.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Funny Quotes About Spring for Easter
“Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.” — Charles Dickens
“Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.” — W. Earl Hall
“Spring is when you feel like whistling, even with a shoe full of slush.” — Doug Larson
“Despite the forecast, live like it’s Spring.” — Lilly Pulitzer
“A life without love is like a year without spring.” — Octavian Paller
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s party!” — Robin Williams
“Blossom by blossom the spring begins.” — Algernon Charles Swinburne
“I want to do to you what spring does with the cherry trees.” — Pablo Neruda
“In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.” — Mark Twain
“The promise of spring’s arrival is enough to get anyone through the bitter winter!” — Jen Selinsky
“In those days, though, the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed.” ― Ernest Hemingway
“The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.” — Henry Van Dyke
“Yes, I deserve a spring – I owe nobody nothing.” — Virginia Woolf
“Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise!” — Wallace Stevens
“Spring unlocks the flowers to paint the laughing soil.” — Reginald Heber
“Spring will come and so will happiness. Hold on. Life will get warmer.” — Anita Krizzan
“Spring comes: the flowers learn their colored shapes.” — Maria Konopnicka
“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming.” — Pablo Neruda
“She turned to the sunlight, And shook her yellow head, And whispered to her neighbor: “Winter is dead”.” ― A.A. Milne
“My favorite weather is bird chirping weather.” — Terri Guillemets
Funny Easter Bunny Quotes
Check out our favorite funny Easter bunny quotes.
“So this chocolate princess. Her knight in shining armor is the Easter Bunny.” — Rachel Cohn
“I have always wanted a bunny and I’ll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.” — Amy Sedaris
“As a general rule, fans and idols should always be kept at arm’s length, the length of the arm to be proportionate to the degree of sheer idolatry involved. Don’t take a Beatle to lunch. Don’t wait up to see if the Easter Bunny is real. Just enjoy the egg hunt.” — Shana Alexander
“I use to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tom Cruise too.” — Barbara Bretton
“When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the Easter Bunny didn’t exist, Elijah was God’s invisible friend, with any luck Nana would die soon, and if I ever saw a unicorn, I should kill it or catch it for cash. I turned out okay.” — Sloane Crosley
“Pretty much everything we’re told as children (and adults, really) by the established power structures in our lives are made up fairytales us to reinforce that control: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, fat-free frozen dinners, religion, and metering lights on the highway–the list goes on.” — Tucker Max
“How is it possible that our parents lied to us? Lets see: Santa, the Tooth Fairy,the Easter bunny,um, God. You’re the prettiest kid in school. This won’t hurt a bit. Your face will freeze like that… Everythings going to be alright.” — Brian K. Vaughan
“I don’t really care what people tell children – when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won’t hurt.” — Julie Burchill
“Fun fact. Each year my mom has Easter tea with her friend named Bunny. Okay not that fun.” — Carter Bays
“I said a prayer that the Easter Bunny gets all his work done.” — Joseph C. Cavella
“If this is an Easter egg, then you must be the Easter Bunny.” — Romeo Muller
“You’ll just fall asleep and then you’ll see Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.” — Thom Eberhardt
“You’re like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny combined – just as charming, and just as fake.” — Daniel Wallace
“Rabbits are important. What about Easter time? Whenever you think of Easter, you think of the Easter bunny.” — Yoram Gross
“You’re the spirit of Christmas, my star on the tree. You’re the Easter Bunny to Mummy and me.” — Edward Madden
“I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter Bunny. I believe in the Tooth Fairy. But I don’t believe in you. This is battery acid. Now, you disappear!” — Stephen King
“Here comes Peter Cottontail. Hopping down the bunny trail. Hippity hopping, Easter’s on its way.” — Jack Rollins
“I always felt Batman was best suited to the role of gritty urban crime detective, but now you guys have got him up against Santas, and Easter bunnies? I’m sorry, but that’s not my Batman!” — Paul Dini
“I was fairly traumatized the first time my parents gave me a hollow chocolate bunny for Easter. I was 27, but still.” — Just Bill
You’ll wake up on Easter morning. And you’ll know that he was there. When you find those chocolate bunnies. That he’s hiding everywhere.” — Jack Rollins
Funny Easter Sayings
Here are some funny Easter sayings we don’t know who said first. You can also check out our list of Funny Sayings.
“Any holiday which starts with a ‘Good Friday’ can’t be all bad.”
“My mom asked me what I’m doing at Easter. I said the same as Jesus – going out Friday, coming back Monday.”
“Easter is the only time of the year when it’s perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket.”
“The deeply religious meaning of Easter is not lost on me but can I just say that I totally love spiral cut ham, you guys.”
“Easter eggs are probably the weirdest part about this great holiday. Rabbits laying eggs and then children run around finding them and eating them thinking that they are chocolate.”
“I Know What You Did Last Supper.”
“Found about 1,000 eggs already. Trying to explain to this cop it’s not my fault if Whole Foods did a bad job hiding them.”
“Make the Easter eggs extra hard to find by putting them inside your kids’ shoes that they can never find when it’s time to go somewhere.”
“I can’t believe it’s already Easter. It seems like just yesterday it wasn’t Easter.”
“Considering Easter my official excuse to eat chocolate for every meal.”
“Hoping my Easter guests will help me take down the tree.”
“Holiday family dinners are complicated enough without introducing a “spiral-cut” ham into the mix.”
“Having trouble selling my Lent calendars where every day you open a new square and it’s empty.”
“Golf is just the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt.”
If you like this quote, head to our list of Funny Golf Quotes.
“Tell the chocolate bunny I’ll pass. I have enough men in my life who are hollow and disappointing.”
“Using the eggs-press lane today.”
“When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for chocolate.”
“The earth laughs in flowers.”
“Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”
“Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again.”
Funny Easter Wishes and Messages
Get inspired by these funny Easter wishes and messages. You’ll also find funny happy Easter quotes below. Pick the best funny Easter messages here.
“Beware of the Easter bunny! It comes with a lot of tasty calories and a fun time with family.”
“My chocolate bunny is bigger than yours. Happy Easter!”
“Hope you survive or resurrect from the chocolate time you are about to take. Happy Easter!”
“Have an egg-citingly fantastic Easter Sunday!”
“The most exciting part of the Easter celebration is that the bunny lays an egg! May you enjoy this Easter celebration occasion to the fullest. I wish you a Happy Easter Sunday.”
“I hope your Easter is as eggstraordinary as you are. Happy Easter!”
“I have a very big chocolate for you, come and get it, though you have to find it.”
“May your Easter be filled with lots of chocolate, bunnies, and eggs.”
“I hope your Easter is as sweet as a chocolate bunny.”
“May your Easter be fun-filled and egg-citing.”
“Easter is a celebration of colorful eggs and bunnies. I wish you an Easter full of eggs and bunnies. Happy Easter!”
“Happy Easter friend, Hope you enjoy all the eggs you collect.”
“I am sending you beautiful and colorful eggs this Easter season. Be generous, don’t eat them alone, share them with your friends, and let them have a taste of the eggs. Happy Easter.”
“Happy Easter! Can I come over and assist you to get rid of those eggshells?”
“May this year’s egg hunt be an exciting one. Best Wishes on Easter.”
“Hope you have lots of fun searching for your Easter eggs. May the best chocolate win. Happy Easter!”
“It is the Easter bunny and Easter eggs, but which is which, does a bunny really lay eggs. Wishing you a happy Easter!”
“It’s amazing how a bunny can lay such beautiful eggs. Have a wonderful Easter. Happy Easter to you.”
“I know how you love chocolates, and this Easter I am sending you chocolate bunnies. Eat them to the fullest. Happy Easter to you!”
“I think we should have a change during this Easter, instead of celebrating with eggs, we celebrate with chicken. I believe it will be awesome. Happy Easter!”
Funny Easter Captions
Way too egg-cited about Easter!
Easter always puts a spring in my step.
Every bunny loves some bunny on Easter.
Literally putting all my eggs in one basket.
I’ve got the Easter Bunny on speed dial.
Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken.
How old is too old to join an Easter egg hunt? Asking for a friend…
Considering Easter as my excuse to have chocolate for every meal.
I was going to tell a joke about an Easter egg but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
I love Easter! What other holiday allows you to bite someone’s head off and have it be chocolate?
I’ve been a good egg this year.
Taking the egg-press lane to church today.
I feel hollow inside. Like this chocolate bunny.
I believe in having chocolate eggs for breakfast.
Dyed eggs, full heart, can’t lose.
All my favorite holidays revolve around chocolate.
Without my Easter candy fix, I’d go off the Peep-end.
I’m very good at hiding chocolate eggs… in my stomach.
Do we really have to wait another 364 days for Easter again?!
Chocolate bunnies and red wine. What more could a girl want?
There’s nothing better than friends unless those friends have chocolate.
When life hands you lemons, throw it back and ask for chocolate bunnies instead.
And there you have it! I hope we’ve helped you find the perfect funny quote about Easter you were looking for.
If you have a favorite funny quote wish or funny Easter message we missed, please let us know in the comments.
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