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Funny Monday Quotes: 140 Funny Monday Sayings

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Do you know what I don’t like thinking about? Mondays. If you’re like me and want to start your week on a positive note through some funny Monday quotes, you’ve come to the right place. We think that when it comes to Monday quotes, funny ones are the best and think these quotes which include short Monday funny quotes, funny Monday morning quotes, short funny quotes about Monday morning, funny Monday motivation, sarcastic Monday quotes and sayings, funny Monday work quotes, and funny Monday sayings lift your spirits as the work week starts.

If you’re among those trying to find funny quotes about Mondays and looking for ways to make it a positive Monday for yourself and your team, you might find these funny quotes on Monday helpful.

If you like funny quotes for the days of the week, you should also head over to our lists of Funny Tuesday Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Thursday Quotes, Funny Friday Quotes, Funny Saturday Quotes, and Funny Sunday Quotes.

You might also like our list of Perfect Monday Quotes

Skip ahead to the category you want or continue scrolling to find your favorite funny Monday quote.

Funny Monday Quotes

Here are some funny Monday quotes to start your week right. And if you like funny quotes, you might also like our lists of Funny Love QuotesFunny Life QuotesFunny Short QuotesFunny Good Morning QuotesFunny Quotes of the Day, and Funny Inspirational Quotes.

  1. “So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” ― Julio Alexi Genao

2. “You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.” ― Andrea L’Artiste

3. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” ― Steven Wright

4. “Like the song says, rainy days and Mondays always get ya down.” ― Haruki Murakami

5. “There are no miracles on Mondays.” ― Amy Neftzger

6. “When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” ― Ella Woodward

Waterfall with funny quotes about Monday by Ella Woodward

7. “Life is like Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old shit starts up on Monday.” ― Stephen King

8. “I’ve always hated Mondays, the whole lot of them. Too much whiplash, snapping the tired masses to attention. God’s way, perhaps, of reminding us that we are not masters of our fate, no matter how deluded we became during the weekend respite.” ― Jonathan Hull, Losing Julia

Short Monday Funny Quotes

Laugh your way through the week with these short Monday funny quotes. If you like short quotes check out our lists of Short Inspirational Quotes, Short Quotes About Life, Short Positive Quotes, Short Deep Quotes, Funny Short Quotes, Short Cute Quotes, Short Friendship Quotes, Short Quotes About Change, Short Travel Quotes and Best Short Quotes.

9. “Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.” ― Louise Fitzhugh

10. “Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.” ― Rebecca Gober

11. “I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.” ― Jarod Kintz

12. “Everyday is Monday….till Friday.” ― Viktor VolksPrater

Highway and clouds with short Monday funny quotes by Volksprater

13. “Your Monday is not going to be like Saturday; the emotions are going to be different.” ― Jean Grae

14. “Monday is for people with a mission.” ― Christina Imre

15. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” ― John Wagner

16. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” ― Anton Chekhov

17. “Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.” ― Jarod Kintz

18. “Monday is great for becoming too busy to die.” ― Roy Station

Funny Monday Morning Quotes

Check out these funny Monday morning quotes and pick your favorite Monday morning funny quotes here. You might also like our lists of Monday Morning Quotes and Good Morning Love Quotes.

19. “The awfulness of Monday mornings is the world’s greatest common denominator.” ― Kenneth Fearing

20. “There are two tests in life, more important than any other test. On Monday morning, when you wake up, do you feel in the pit of your stomach you can’t wait to go to work? And when you’re ready to go home Friday afternoon, do you say, ‘I can’t wait to go home?’” ― Chuck Schumer

21. “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite

22. “On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men have created jerks.” ― H. Allen Smith

23. “Monday isn’t that bad to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.” ― Day

Mountains reflection with funny monday morning quotes by Day

24. “Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You’ve got to set a high bar.” ― Antonio Villaraigosa

25. “Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain

26. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin

27. “By and large I think art is made by people who have discipline married to talent in sufficiently large amounts to work even if they don’t feel like it. Anybody can get maudlin and decide to write poetry at 11 at night; the question is, can you do it at 8:30 on a Monday morning..?” ― Clive Barker

28. “This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.” ― Lisa Mantchev

29. “Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook

30. “Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss

Short Funny Quotes About Monday Morning

Brighten up your day with these short funny quotes about Monday morning. These short funny quotes for Monday morning will make you smile, and if you are a morning person you might also like our lists of Inspirational Morning Quotes, Good Morning Quotes and Funny Good Morning Quotes.

31. “The only good Monday is a Monday in bed” ― Lee Horton

32. “What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting. That’s me.” ― Gemma Collins

33. “Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis

34. “Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures.” ― Arthur Darvill

35. “The best weeks start on Monday.” ― Nice Peter

36. “Every Monday you wake up is a day to make a change.” – Irvine Welsh

Fosty sunrise with short funny Monday morning quotes by Irvine Welsh

37. “I hate mornings, they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich

38. “I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” — Jarod Kintz

39. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black

40. “When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods

41. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin

42. “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker

43. “Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden

44. “Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” — Rachel Caine

Funny Monday Motivation

This list of funny Monday motivation should be good for a chuckle. Then check out our lists of Tuesday Motivation Quotes, Wednesday Motivation Quotes, Thursday Motivation Quotes and Friday Motivation Quotes.

45. “I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.” ― Leggy Saul

46. “The challenge of every Monday is to maintain the same vitality in each and every day of the week.” ― Byron Pulsifer

47. “Do or do not. There is no try. “ — Yoda

48. “The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.” ― Art Rooney

49. “Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” ― Winnie the Pooh

50. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Sam Levenson

51. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne

Mountains and river with funny Monday motivation quotes

52. “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” ― Ellen DeGeneres

53. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ― Charlie Chaplin

54. “Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” ― Tina Fey

55. “Be happy, it drives people crazy.” — Paulo Coelho

56. “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible!” ― Audrey Hepburn

57. “When in doubt, throw doubt out and have a little faith….” ― E.A. Bucchianeri

58. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar

59. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” ― Yogi Berra

60. “I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” ― Harold Wilson

61. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams

62. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler

Sarcastic Monday Quotes and Sayings

These sarcastic Monday quotes and sayings will put a smile on your face.

63. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”

64. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” ― Ashleigh Brilliant

65. “After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.”

66. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” ― Steven Wright

67. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”

Rocks and ocean with Sarcastic monday quotes and sayings

 68. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ― Robin Williams

69. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ― Joan Crawford

70. “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti

71. “I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” ― Sarah Rees Brennan

72. “I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” ― Edgar Allen Poe

73. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ― Drew Carey

Funny Monday Work Quotes

This section is for you if you’re looking for funny Monday work quotes. Choose your favorite funny Monday quotes for work, then check out our lists of Monday Quotes for Work, Funny Work Quotes, Inspirational Work Quotes and Hard Work Quotes.

74. “In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.” ― Jeff Lindsay

75. “Mondays are the start of the work week which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!” ― David Dweck

76. “Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.” ― Larry Brown

77. “Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

78. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome

Hills at sunset with funny Monday work quotes by Jerome

79. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.” ― Dan Salomon

80. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin

81. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald

82. “The reward for good work is more work.” — Francesca Elisia

83. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson

84. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen

Last Funny Quotes About Monday

Consider the following last funny quotes about Monday.

85. “Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.” ― Garry Moll

86. “There is nothing more dreadful than having to go walking on one’s own on Monday.” ― Thomas Bernhard

87. “Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.” ― Jarod Kintz

88. “What about Monday? That could be one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.” ― Kevin Dalton

89. “If I could, I’d give up Mondays to have her love again. Actually, forget her love, I’d give up Mondays for free.” ― Jarod Kintz

Sunrise over river with funny quotes about monday by Kintz

90. “Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.” ― George Leedy

91. “When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.” ― Marilyn Monroe

92. “Someday is not a day of the week.” — Denise Brennan-Nelson

93. “If there was a day of the week I could skip it would be Monday. Clients had too much time to think and worry over a long weekend and by Monday they were often riddled with fear and anxiety.” ― Stan Turner

94. “You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday.” ― Lewis Grizzard

Funny Quotes of the Day

If you like these funny quotes for each day of the week head to our list of Funny Quotes of the Day.

95. “Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker

96. “Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.” – Emily P. Freeman

97. No one likes Tuesday morning but at least it’s not Monday morning.” – Bev Johnston

Sunset over the ocean wtih funny Tuesday morning quotes

98. “A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” – Demetri Martin

99. “Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!” – Lee Fox Williams

100. “Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long” – Nicci French

101. “I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That’s all any of us can hope for.” – April Winchell

102. “Happy Friday! Here’s to all of us who made it through another week of faking adulthood.” – Nanea Hoffman

103. “It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger

Country landscape with funny motivational Friday quotes by Neftzger

104. “Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.” – Charmaine J. Forde

105. “I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.” – Anna Scott

106. “Happiness is a hot bath on a Sunday afternoon.” – A.D. Posey

107. “The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” – Mark Morris

Funny New Day Quotes on Monday

Check out these funny new day quotes on Monday. And check out our list of New Day Quotes for more.

108. “Every day brings you a chance to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes and dance.” ― Oprah Winfrey

109. “If you’re not getting it perfect, life is still going to go around. The world still turns. It’s going to be OK. Tomorrow is a new day.” ― Katy Mixon

110. “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” ― Brad Paisley

111. “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet?” ― L.M. Montgomery

112. “Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but, every morning, I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself, it’s going to be a good day!” ― Lindsay Lohan

113. “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” ― Plato

114. “Today is a new day. Even if you were wrong yesterday, you can get it right today.” ― Dwight Howard

Yellow flowers and sunset with funny new day quotes for Monday by Howard

115. “Each new day has a different shape to it. You just roll with it.” ― Ben Zobrist

116. “My grandmother lived to 104 years old, and part of her success was she woke up every morning to a brand new day.” ― George Takei

117. “Man starts over again every new day, in spite of all he knows, despite all he knows.” ― Emil Cioran

118. “Every day is a new day. It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then, when luck comes, you are ready.” ― Ernest Hemingway

119. “Every day is new. It’s just a new day. I look at six hours at a time.” ― Wiz Khalifa

Funny New Week Quotes

If you need some motivation to start your week right, these funny new week quotes are for you. You might also like our list of New Week Quotes.

120. “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities.” ― R.K. Narayan

121. “A bad day doesn’t mean a bad week or a bad month or a bad year.” ― Anuj Jasani

122. “All days from the week are typical, that’s all… nothing less, nothing more.” ― Deyth Banger

123. “The week is full of rainbow fruit.” ― Anthony T. Hincks

124. “The best weeks start on Monday.” ― Nice Peter

Person watching ocean with funny new week quotes by Nice Peter

125. “When the week begins, try your best to let your best overcome your worst and that is the best. Do your best to have a good week and never be weak in the week.” ― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

126. “If life was a book; every day would be a new page, every month would be a new chapter, and every year would be a new series.” ― Elizabeth Duivenvoorde

127. “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities.” ― R.K. Narayan

Funny Monday Sayings

Laugh a bit at these funny Monday sayings.  These funny sayings about Monday will help you get through the day. Check out our list of our Funny Sayings for more.

128. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”

129. “Today is Monday, and that reasons enough for me to hate it.”

130. “People who say “good morning” should be forced to prove it. Happy Monday!”

131. “Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been cancelled, go back to sleep.”

132. “Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close from Monday?

133. “Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has past and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.”

134. “Monday is one of my favourite days of the week. My 7th favourite.”

Cliffs and ocean with funny Monday sayings

135. “Monday?! But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet…”

136. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.”

137. “Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Monday.”

138. “I haven’t had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.”

139. “Happy Monday. Wait, better yet, happy only four days until Friday.”

140. “There’s no more difficult transition than Sunday to Monday.”

Funny Monday Captions

If you like these funny Monday captions head to our list of Monday Captions for more.

Life should be paused before Monday mornings.

It’s Monday so act like it

Wishing it was Sunday again.

Shortest horror story: MONDAY.

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

It’s Monday but keep smiling.

Sunset on lake with funny instagram Monday captions

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

May today be the Mondayest Monday that ever Mondayed.

Enjoy your Monday. Only 5 more days til the weekend

Even the best weeks start on Monday.

Just a little funny Monday.

Living in a Mondaze

Not ready to Monday.

On Mondays, my coffee is medicinal.

Clouds with clever Monday captions for Instagram

Can’t we skip Monday.

Monday. There’s nothing that bed can’t fix

Don’t look but here comes Monday.

My Saturday was going really well until it turned into Monday.

Monday takes a little coffee and a lot of mascara.

If each day is a “gift”, I’d like to know where I can return Monday.

Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.

So there you have it! We hope we’ve helped you find the best funny Monday quote you were looking for.

Now get out there and enjoy your Monday!

If we missed your favorite quote about Monday, let us know in the comments below.

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hills at sunset

Other Quotes You Might Be Interested In:

Sunday Morning Quotes

Tuesday Motivation Quotes

Wednesday Motivation Quotes

Thursday Motivation Quotes

Friday Motivational Quotes

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