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With our annual fall trip approaching quickly and having planned an itinerary that, at first glance, looks a bit chaotic and just a hint too ambitious, then on second glance is most definitely asking for trouble, here is a (relatively) brief overview of our latest travel plans.
COVID restrictions have loosened in most places (yes, even Thailand, or at least they should be soon) which really opened up the possibilities and we clearly struggled with impulse control, with much of our planning process going as follows:
“Hey, I just saw a photo of ______. That would be cool to see.”
“Yes, you’re right, I think we would enjoy that.”
“Let’s go there.”
Which is how we ended up planning stays in 9 different countries and booking a literal “round-the-world” multi-destination flight, even if we’re left to our own devices for a fairly large chunk in the middle (only the part from Paris to Bangkok, no big whoop).
And, in the spirit of new fall TV schedules and streaming, I’ve tried to describe each leg in a way our many TV-obsessed friends and family might relate to. Yes, I understand that TV doesn’t really run on a seasonal basis anymore but that’s what artistic license is for. Not to mention the rather loose use of the term “artistic”.
So here it goes. If you have any questions, I’m sure Laynni would be glad to answer them.
Routinely Nomadic Fall 2022 Travel Map
Click the star to save this map to your Google Maps – then find it under Saved/Maps (mobile) or Your Places/Maps (desktop)
The Trailer: Paris (France)
Lovely old Paris almost always has the best flight options when we’re looking to fly to Europe. So get ready for yet another very brief, relatively fast and furious, somewhat action-packed 24 hours in one of our favourite cities in the world. If you watch closely, you’re almost sure to spot a baguette.
The Outdoor Adventure Reality Show: The Walker’s Haute Route (Switzerland)
Watch as 2 slightly apprehensive Canadians and their 2 slightly apprehensive Swiss/Canadian friends tackle one of the hardest treks in Europe. Even this partially abbreviated 10-day version (to avoid doubling up on the parts that overlap with the Tour du Mont Blanc they hiked a couple years ago) will cross 11 high passes through the Swiss alps and average over 1,000 metres of elevation gain (and equivalent loss) per day.
However, they will pass through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world on the way to their final destination, the gorgeous mountain town of Zermatt, sitting smugly under the looming bulk of the incomparable Matterhorn. Expect pain, trauma and whining, oh so much whining (or whinging for you British viewers).
The Outdoor Adventure Spin-Off: Mount Triglav Traverse (Slovenia)
Following the first rule of television – “Anything remotely good should be milked for every last drop of possible interest” – it was decided that two weeks of hard slogging through Switzerland wasn’t quite enough and that an additional 4-day mountain trek should follow in relatively quick succession. Different mountains, slightly shabbier huts, cheaper prices and a more enigmatic language. But the same general idea.
“Just like the show you loved. Only a bit worse.”
Update: Didn’t do the hike. But we did spend a bunch of time in Lake Bohinj.
The Road Trip Buddy Comedy: Balkans
What happens when a mismatched couple team up to drive through Albania, North Macedonia and “just the tip” of northern Greece? He loves soccer – she is obsessed with vloggers. He suffers from frequent road rage – she likes to nap in the car. Buckle in for some tremendous scenery, fascinating culture and plenty of hilarious bickering.
Island Hunters: Greece
Follow our hosts, Dean and Laynni, as they spend most of October island-hopping through the Greek islands, visiting some of the most sought-after Mediterranean destinations along the way. From iconic whitewashed Greek villages to Instagram-famous beaches to stunning cliffs to mouth-watering Greek food (including Laynni scarfing down Greek salads by the dozen), you can travel vicariously through some of the hottest tourist spots in Europe. Fortunately, what your hosts lack in charm and charisma they more than make up for in mundane observations and sullen complaints about the heat.
Deep Blue Sea: The Series (Maldives)
Remember that iconic scene in the 1999 classic, Deep Blue Sea, where Samuel L. Jackson gives a long, inspirational speech about how they are all going to pull together and get through this as a team, then the giant shark jumps right out of the water and bites him in half? Yeah, hopefully that won’t happen here. At least not right at the beginning, since we have 14 episodes to get through. But just to be safe, don’t expect any long speeches from us, and certainly no motivational ones.
But you can expect sharks by the dozen – especially reef and nurse sharks – and if all goes according to plan, also whale sharks, tiger sharks, maybe hammerhead sharks, plus lots of manta rays. See how we just slipped “tiger shark” in there, one of the most dangerous sharks on the planet, without any real explanation? That’s what those in the biz call a “teaser”.
No Reservations… Again (Thailand)
In the spirit of the late, great Anthony Bourdain, we bring to you another travel show where the star is just a regular guy wandering from place to place, and meal to meal, letting the world lead them where it may. But with a twist.
Instead of mixing with the locals and trying every different food imaginable with an open mind and generous heart, No Reservations… Again will follow a finicky Canadian as he travels through Thailand ordering the same wide noodle with gravy dish everywhere he goes, all while desperately avoiding any social interaction with strangers. Sure, you won’t learn much about Thai food, or enjoy any amusing local anecdotes, but you will get to watch him chew. Unusually loudly, according to some.
Fall 2022 Travel Summary
Covering three continents (not including Canada, despite the inevitable delay in Toronto’s Pearson airport), this wildly ambitious itinerary promises to seriously test the ever-fading endurance of our erstwhile reality “stars”. And major questions remain:
Are those creaky legs up to two major mountain treks in three weeks?
Is Albania more than just a catchy name?
Is Greece going to welcome them back so soon?
After years of struggling to master the technique, will Laynni have completely lost the ability to clear her mask while scuba diving?
Will tiger sharks tear them to shreds?
Will Dean try Tom Yum Goong?
Stay tuned, it’s going to be a great fall.
We will only be posting sporadically while on the road and probably not again until we finish the Haute Route in mid-September. However, we will probably still find time for social media reels and stories, so if you’re interested in what we’re up to at any given time just follow us there (links on sidebar/at bottom/home page).
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