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Nicaragua

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Well, that about does it for our time in Nicaragua. After kicking it off in early April with some canyon scrambling up in Somoto we’ve enjoyed five great weeks of beaches (Corn Islands, Las Penitas, Ometepe), slightly crumbling colonial cities (Granada, Leon), a lake (Laguna de Apoyo), sweating (all of the above) and crazy sweating (Laynni, in all of the above). Laynni has actually been losing sleep lately due to wild cravings and obsessive dreams in which she finds herself, well, actually not sweating for a change, mostly, but then some of the dreams have gotten even crazier and she starts talking fanatically about how great it’s going to be to wear a jacket. Most times, though, it’s still just the usual “bearded dwarves wearing shirt-gowns trying to give a cat a bath” dreams. But those apply in any climate, obviously. Unfortunately, though, when Laynni loses sleep we all pay,…

They step nimbly from the boat to the Ometepe dock, quickly gazing around with the practiced eye of those routinely taken advantage of. Deep breaths as they exit the dock, quickly sucked into a vortex of expectant taxi drivers, their circling, predatory faces drawing closer with every carefully calculated rotation. “Altagracia!” “Santo Domingo!” “Merida!” The growling undercurrent heightens as the weary travelers acknowledge their desired destination. “$30!” “$35!” “$25!” “$20!” The eyes of the other drivers slowly turn to this last eager Transportation Specialist, the mixture of fury and disappointment evident in their eyes like a father finding out his only son just knocked up a fat chick. Undaunted, the brave loner steps forward, long curly locks whipping in the wind like a proud stallion’s dung-covered tail, flaunting his willingness to undercut his competition – and luxuriant moustache – for all to see. A surprised smile, a pleased nod, an…

Before we got to Las Penitas we had hoped to leave the Corn Islands on the Monday but when we called the airline they informed us (and several other people we talked to) that the flight that morning was completely full. No problem, we’d go Tuesday. Monday morning we took the boat over to Great Corn with the idea of spending the night there for something to do and to make things a little easier the following morning. Got there, decided that, hey, we’re here anyway, let’s swing by the airport and just see what happens. Half hour later we were seated on the plane that was barely half-full, if that. Central America – don’t ask too many questions, just roll with it, baby. After flying to Managua we took a minibus to the colonial city of Leon, nice to look at yet with a very authentic feel, like a…

Little Corn Gazette The Number One triennial periodical on Little Corn Island brings you all the news, sports and entertainment news from Nicaragua’s own slice of Caribbean paradise. Roach Death Toll Reaches Three Cabana #3, Sunrise Paradise – There is an escalating feeling of fear in the local cockroach community following the murder of yet another of its members last night, taking the week’s death toll to three. Three of the last four mornings neighbours have discovered a body callously discarded in the sand. All of the victims have been members of the elite Nocturnal Toilet Scavenging unit and, in each case, have been beaten almost beyond recognition. With the panic continuing to spread all late night excursions have been temporarily suspended, rapidly leading to severe shortages in stockpile of both feces and pubic hair. Parents are reportedly so afraid that they have implemented an unprecedented ban on children…

Fortified by a night of air-con and more greasy pizza than you’d find on the floor of a dorm room in a cheesy spring break movie, we embarked on a day we fully expected to involve considerably more pain than gain – trying to get all the way from San Miguel, El Salvador to Somoto Canyon, Nicaragua, with the minor inconvenience of a chunk of southern Honduras standing in the way. All in all, though, it went as well as we could have hoped, considering we spent time on seven different vehicles, crossed two borders (a personal first for land travel) and discovered the secret of relentless staring, all over the course of eight hours. By the end of the day our asses felt like re-heated beet goulash but, on the bright side, our longest wait in between changes was only about 45 minutes and things took a serious turn…

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