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Hooters and Cheese

–         Trevor and I in my 1994 Ford Ranger (just a utility box in back, no Extended Cab)

·         Visited Nicole and friends in Winnipeg

·         Fargo – Hooters and snow

·         Wisconsin – beer, cheese and mini-golf

·         Chicago – only car on block without  a security “club”, stayed at university hostel, went to a hockey game, drank at Irish pub, took train filled with Northwestern fans heading to football game

–         Took 9 hours to get from Chi to Det because of construction/traffic, almost all hotels were full for a Ratt concert, got lost and ended up using a phonebook at a sketchy payphone in terrible neighbourhood, finally got a really expensive room at a Holiday Inn, saw Giants beat Lions in OT, Barry Sanders was awesome

–         Toronto – watched game at Maple Leaf Garden (worst arena of trip), stayed with Lee and Dar Ahenakew

·         Ottawa – got a bunch of snow, saw game at Corel Centre

·         Drove through Montreal, no stops, lots of construction

–         Stopped in Concord, NH during foliage festival, inadvertently drove in the parade, stayed in weird velour-coated Chinese hotel room like something out of The Shining, went to see I Know What You Did Last Summer (Jennifer Love-Hewitt’s cleavage and necklace apparently stuck with me)

·         Boston – greats seats behind the net, Trevor spontaneously ejaculated when Ray Bourque skated past, got really drunk at a pub after and argued over best route back, each went different direction and speed-walked, arriving at same time, didn’t go into Cheers, too expensive

–         New York – took first exit and had to drive 100 blocks through north Harlem

·         Stayed at huge hostel on 101st and Amsterdam, 4 days later truck was broken into, disc-changer was gone, CD case open on seat but intact, rest of the trip we just had radio (and even that died somewhere in South Dakota)

·         Had a parking ticket on my window that seemed wrong, went downtown to fight it, waited in line only to realize it wasn’t my plate number, still made me give a statement and fill out forms

·         NYR-NYI game at Nassau Coliseum, fans got nasty, fight broke out

·         Saw the Empire State building and Staten Island ferry, but not Central Park

–         Atlantic City – Trevor lost his $20 in about 3 minutes and then hovered behind me wondering when we were going to leave, parked well away from casino to save money but put truck in severe danger, hotels triple in price on weekends

·         Washington – stayed at some hostel, went to some Caps game, don’t remember much else, Washington Monument, gates of Whitehouse

–         Greensboro – golfed with group from Detroit, fell in mud while retrieving ball from “dried up” river, finished last 5 holes with mud caked to my knees, met guys again at Canes game

·         Ocracoke Island – Joe’s Oyster Bar, stereotypical windswept beach dunes, emerge from ferry into deep South lush magnolias (?) and southern mansions

–         Atlanta – saw Michael Jordan play the Hawks in the Georgia Dome, biggest basketball crowd ever in Georgia, he looked like a very talented distant speck, saw Falcons game too, fewer people

–         Biloxi – stopped at dog races, Trevor bet $4 then quit

·         New Orleans – stayed at friendly hostel in rough neighbourhood, watched some guys strip a car down and run off

·         Went bar-hopping, drinking mudslides and 3 for 1 beer with some guys from New Zealand, hit a strip joint, sang Funky Cold Medina at karaoke bar following some chick good enough for American Idol, next thing I remember I was climbing a meridian on the freeway and hitching a ride with a woman who told me I could be killed for my watch alone

·         Back to hostel, Trevor was on phone with his girlfriend, I woke up at 11am severely hung over and went golfing, nearly puked taking ball out of first hole when I saw some reddish cockroaches looking up at me, joined up with “Ned” or “Nick” or something and shot one of my best rounds (73)

–         Baton Rouge – LSU vs Notre Dame, sold out in June but with ND at 3-5 tickets were easy to get, sat about 6th row near end zone, almost got hit with roving TV camera, freezing cold

·         Nashville – drove past Graceland

·         St. Louis – watched Grey Cup in a local sports bar, everyone in bar facing opposite direction

·         South Dakota – couldn’t pick up any radio stations, hit a snowstorm

Somehow didn’t kill each other after 6 weeks in a tiny Ford Ranger. Success!

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