Hilariously Funny Christmas Puns and One Liners That are Sure to Sleigh

The holidays are festive and fun and always good for a few laughs, which is why we have put together a list of all the best Christmas puns for you to share. And if you’re looking for short Christmas jokes to lighten the mood, we also have you covered.

Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.

Christmas Puns and Jokes

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Christmas puns sleigh me.

Happy Howl-idays!

Wrapper’s delight.

It’s ice to meet you.

Check your elf, before you wreck your elf.

Catty Canes.

Time for some festivi-tea.

Wake me up before you cocoa.

What did the wise men say after giving gifts of gold and frankincense? “Oh, wait! There’s myrrh!”

There’s no gift like the present.

Santa bae bae

Make it rein.

Don’t worry, ski happy.

What did the life coach say to the stressed out elf? “You need to treat your elf.”

I like ’em real thick and sprucy.

Why does Santa hate getting stuck in a chimney? Because he has clause-trophobia.

Santa’s little yelper

Can I get a watt watt?

How rude-olf of you.

Claus I said so!

A mistle-toast to the holiday season.

Yule never guess who’s coming? It’s Santa!

Where does Santa keep all his money? At the Snow Bank.

What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas treat? Candy canines.

What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes, “Ribbet, ribbet”? A mistle-toad.

Introducing: Santa Paws.

It’s Christmas-thyme in the city.

Prancer’s motto: Prance like nobody’s watching.

What do you get when you come across a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple.

He’s an elf-made man.

Who delivers presents to dogs at Christmas? Santa Paws.

Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey because it’s always stuffed.

I need my hand-santa-tizer.

Birch, please.

It’s lit.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.

Let’s raise a glass and make a mistle-toast to the holiday season.

Oh, deer.

“Happy holly-days,” said the wreath to the garland.

What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? “Let’s hang out.”

How did Scrooge win the soccer game? The Ghost of Christmas passed.

You’re my soul Santa.

You wood not believe my Christmas tree is artificial.

My gingerbread man is one tough cookie.

Santa claus holding cell phonepinterest

Here comes Santa claws, here comes Santa claws.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

We woof you a Merry Christmas

What are parents’ favorite Christmas song? “Silent Night.”

Have your elf a merry little Christmas.

What do road crews use at the North Pole? Snow cones.

Love at frost sight!

Who delivers presents to cats at Christmas? Santa Claws.

Fir sure.

How do sheep say, “Merry Christmas”? Fleece Navidad.

Snow rest for the wicked.

Have a holly Dolly Christmas.

Feliz navi-dog!

Happy holly-days!

He came, he thawed, he conquered.

That look soots you.

But first, let me and my gingerbread men take a selfie.

Say it ain’t snow.

Let’s take an elfie.

I’m a rebel without a Claus.

I have no ideer how’s it’s Christmas already.

Snow thank you.

How do trees count? One, two, tree.

I know when those sleigh bells ring. That can only mean one thing.

Snow on and snow forth.

What do you call a Christmas gift for a cat? A purr-esent.

Why is it so cold at Christmas? Because it’s Decembrrrrr.

The snuggle is real.

Ready, set, glow.

What did the reindeers say to Santa after he fell off the sleigh? “Hold on for deer life!”

I love you from head to mistletoe.

Resting Grinch face.

As it snow happens.

Christmas trees wear skirts so you won’t cedar roots.

Why did the snowman get arrested? They were up to snow good.

Why did the cats hate their presents? They gifts weren’t up to scratch.

Dachshund through the snow.

What do you call the elf who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Ribbon Hood.

Don’t be elfish.

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.

What is a fruit’s favorite Christmas song? “We Wish You A Berry Christmas.”

How long should a reindeer’s legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.

Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

At the gumdrop of a hat.

Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosties.

I’m pine-ing for you.

What do elves learn at school? The elfa-bet.

Claus I’ve been good this year.

Home sleet home.

Daschund through the snow!

Let’s get elf-ed up.

Yule be fit to be tide when you find out you aren’t getting any presents.

It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.

May your Christmas be furry and bright

Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.

Scrooge that!

Having a case of Claus-trophobia while waiting for the man in red.

Sleigh my name. Sleigh my name.

You sleigh me.

It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.

You were heaven-santa

Good things come in tall packages.

What kind of music do elves like? Wrap music.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire together? Frostbite.

You need to branch out.

Don’t even snow there!

What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claws.

What do you call a snowman party? A Snow Ball.

Where do mistletoes go to get famous? Holly-wood.

Chillin’ with my snowmies.

All the jingle ladies.

Un-fir-gettable, that’s what you are.

Good things come to those who bake.

Time to spruce things up.

The Christmas alphabet has noel.

Since it’s Christmas, I found it most appropriate for me to be taking Santa stage this year…

No need to Claus a scene!

What do cats listen to during the holidays? Christmas mew-sic.

Can we get a round of Santa-plause for this dress?

Another day, another sleigh.

Snow be it.

Don’t get all sappy on me, said the Christmas tree farmer.

Sleigh queen, sleigh.

All I want for Christmas is ewe.

You go, Glen Cocoa.

I’m elf-taught.

How does the snow globe feel at Christmas? A little shaken.

Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.

The holidays make me feel extra Santa-mental.

Santaquatch.

But wait—there’s myrrh.

I’ll never fir-get.

The Ghost of Christmas Presents is my favorite Christmas ghost.

It’s a wonder-yule life.

Gin-gle bells

A round of Santa-plause, please.

It’s high time to spruce things up.

Funny Christmas puns

What did the gingerbread man say to the sad fruitcake? “What’s eating you?”

I’m quite fawned of you, my deer.

What the elf.

But first, let me take an elfie.

Why did the two snowmen start dating as soon as they met? Because it was love at frost sight.

Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.

Your presents is requested.

What is a cat’s favorite Christmas candy? Catt-y canes.

All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies!

I doen’t give a buck.

Sleigh, queen, sleigh.

Santa paws is comin’ to town.

There’s no business like snow business.

Meowy Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Why was the snowman looking at a bag of carrots? He’s picking his nose.

Why did the cat give everyone gag gifts? They were kitten around.

What type of car do Santa’s elves drive? Minivans.

It’s snow joke.

This tree is officially lit AF.

What kind of motorbike does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson.

Gangsta wrapper.

Best in snow.

You’re sleigh-in’ it.

Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.

You bake life better.

What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face!”

She has high elf-esteem.

Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!

What do dogs do at Christmas parties? They whine and dine.

I love you a whole watt.

These decorations are tree-mendous.

Lighten up, it’s Christmas!

Hoppy Holidays

Birch, pul-eez.

Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.

Why did Santa get a ticket? He left his sleigh on a snow parking zone.

Yule be sorry.

Why do mummies love Christmas? There’s so much wrapping.

Snow time like the present.

I’ve got high elf-esteem.

Why is everyone at the North Pole thirsty? There’s no well.

Fir real…have a merry Christmas.

This is snow laughing matter!

You snow the drill.

I’m feelin’ pine.

I told you snow.

What is Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.

The holidays have me feeling a little Santa-mental.

I have the final sleigh.

How do fairy tale books for reindeer end? “And they lived happily ever antler.”

Hold on for deer life.

What do reindeers use to decorate their antlers? Hornaments.

I love you deerly.

Up to snow good.

How do you know when Santa is around? You can sense his presents.

I’m pine-ing for you this Christmas.

Sink your claus into these treats.

A blanket of snow: the holiday gift no one wants.

Have a tree-mendous Christmas!

Someone’s up to snow good.

What do you get when you eat all the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.

We have great chemis-tree.

Rebel without a Claus.

Bah Hum-pug

How do dogs celebrate Christmas? By throwing a Christmas paw-ty.

Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.

You don’t want to get caught elvesdropping on Santa!

Let there be peas on earth.

Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.

What happens to Christmas gifts when they die? They become the ghost of Christmas presents.

Treat yo’elf.

Get the elf out of here

It takes one to snow one.

What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? “Sniffin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles.

Prosecc-Ho-ho-ho!

Season’s greetings, said the rosemary to the sage.

Just in the St. Nick of time.

The kids are on pines and needles waiting for Santa’s gifts to arrive under the tree.

Santa puts you on the naughty list if he has just claus.

What language does Santa speak? North Polish.

It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.

I’m Claus-trophobic.

Why do reindeer love Beyoncé? Because she sleighs.

Santa jaws.

Frosty the Snowman’s personal affairs are snow-body’s business.

Believe in your elf.

Someone call Santa Claus, I’m about to sleigh this workout.

How’d you finish Christmas shopping so fast? I used the elf-checkout lane.

Say it to my face. I deer you.

We’re orna-meant to be

Which list do children who don’t know how to tie their shoes end up in? The knotty list.

Let’s get blitzened!

Eat, drink, and be meowy

Hope your holidays are tree-mendous this year.

Watt a gorgeous Christmas tree.

I’m snow bored.

Season’s eatings.

Icy what you did there.

Are you oakay? Yes, I’m pine!

To coldly go where no snowman has gone before.

Santa has a sleigh-over before he gets here.

Peppermint, or-na-ment? she asked when contemplating hanging candy canes on tree.

Sleigh’in it.

What’s the difference between the regular alphabet and the Christmas alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

I only have ice for you.

Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tizer.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.

All you needle is love.

Jingle bells, Zinfandel, need more cabernet

What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.

How do trees flirt? They talk about chemis-tree.

Snow pain, snow gain.

What do you call a snowman who’s always at the gym? An abdominal snowman.

Sleigh, what?!

What do you call a reindeer ghost? A carib-boo.

How do cats say “Merry Christmas”? “Meow-ry Christmas!”

Who is the elf’s favorite rock start? Elf-is Presley.

Don’t forget to make Santa-witches for the guests.

I’d like a round of reinbeers.

Introducing: Santa Claws.

Go outside for Christmas? Snow thanks.

What song and dance does Beyoncé like to perform at Christmas? “All the Jingle Ladies.”

So that is it for our list of Christmas Puns and Jokes. We hope you found the perfect one for you!

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Funny Christmas Captions, Funny Merry Christmas Messages and Happy New Year Wishes for Friends and Family.