Lovely Lombok. What? Lombok! The one right beside Bali. Nope, the other side. No, it’s not that small, about the same size as Bali, really. How am I supposed to know why you haven’t heard of it? It’s pretty well-known. For what? Um, I don’t know, beaches and stuff. Surfing, I guess. Oh, uh, Rinjani! That’s their big volcano. Well, no, it’s not really shaped like a classic volcano, per se. It’s missing that pointy top bit. But otherwise, quite nice. And, yeah, rice fields. Loads of those. Of course I know there are rice fields all over Southeast Asia. That doesn’t mean the Lombok ones aren’t pretty, though, does it?
So, yeah, despite a couple previous Bali trips, we’d never made it over to Lombok, its much quieter neighbour. Until now, that is. And we got around a bit, too, no cushy Thai apartments this leg. First off, Kuta, the centre of all things surfing on the southern coast of Lombok. So did we go surfing? Good question. No. No, we did not. But we did see some cows on the beach. And a frantic rooster that seemed to be having some sort of breakdown.
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Plus, we spent some time in Tetebatu checking out those rice fields I mentioned, as well as some of the waterfalls of central Lombok, then headed for the islands. Gili Meno, to be specific, generally described as the quietest of three main “gilis” (even though “gili” just means “island” and, in fact, there are dozens). Scuba diving, snorkelling, walking a little bit, every now and then.
Random Thoughts About Lombok
Kuta
The town of Kuta itself is kind of ugly. But the BEACH… well, actually, that’s kind of ugly, too. But the beaches AROUND Kuta, those are beautiful. And even though the town won’t be winning any beauty contests, it still had plenty going for it. Outstanding international restaurants, for starters. Good value hotels. And a welcoming, safe vibe that may explain why there were far more female than male tourists. Laynni described the feeling as “not predatory”. Unlike, in her opinion, Pai in Thailand.
For around $C75/night ($US55) we got an amazing private villa at Nomada Villas. It had a kitchen, sectional couch, fast wifi and even a private pool. A very small pool that was usually in shade and not nearly as nice as the big communal pool. But it was ours, all ours. Well, we did have to share it with that huge frog. But he mostly kept to himself.
All the best spots (i.e. beaches) are located outside town so renting a scooter is practically mandatory. Luckily, it only cost $C8/day and we spent $C2.50 on gas FOR THE WEEK, so it wasn’t exactly cost-prohibitive. And it gave us full freedom to check out all the best beaches, scenic cafés and sunset spots, always followed by a face full of bugs driving back to town at dusk.
Directly east of Kuta there is a mega-resort-in-progress called Mandalika. So far it mainly consists of two things; a world-class motorcycle racing track that hosts international events and an impressive network of wide, new 4-lane roads designed, presumably, to handle race day traffic and the hordes of tourists that will – theoretically – flock there when the full resort is completed. Which shouldn’t take long once they finally manage to evict the last of the locals from their homes to make way for more construction. Sorry, did I say evict? No, they are adamant, nobody’s getting EVICTED. What I meant to say was pay them a token amount and threaten them until they leave. It’s important to be accurate.
Tetebatu
Our A-frame villa at Hidden Lombok Villas in Tetebatu covered all the bases – in a quiet location away from the village surrounded by rice fields with gorgeous views of two volcanoes, plus a cramped sleeping loft where you could hit your head as often as you wanted. A-frames, am I right?
And this gorgeous place was not only surrounded by rice fields, but surrounded by rice fields flooded for seeding. Picturesque, obviously, but that probably also meant there were lots of mosquitoes, too, right? Wrong. There was one. One mosquito.
Tetetabatu’s burgeoning tourist boom seems to be creating some disposable wealth in the area, leading to a “mosque race” of sorts, where each village – no matter how tiny or debatable as a village at all – is in the process of building a shiny new mosque. Even when village 1 is only a few hundred metres from village 2 and, apparently, only separated by a single empty lot. Also, maybe these new mosques are not so much SHINY as the grey of bare concrete, featuring a lot of rebar and dirty scaffolding. But, still, you can really picture the future elegance to come. If you squint. And the music, well, that’s already going full-steam ahead. In all of them, at all times. Sometimes calls to prayer, sometimes religious mantras, sometimes just soft-rock remakes of American classics from the 80’s. You know, typical mosque stuff.
Tetebatu is very damp. Which, at first, sounds shitty. Until you think about the waterfalls. Waterfalls love dampness. They thrive on it. Which is probably why there are so many waterfalls in Tetebatu. No, they’re not always very big. Or easy to access. Or easy to find, for that matter, but that seems to be by design. Since each one has multiple entrances, each of which charge the same entrance fee (usually about $1US) and will, ultimately, get you where you want to go. But the money must go to different places because, oh ho, the local folks REALLY want you to come through THEIR specific entrance.
At this point, we (as white tourists) are quite used to being a bit of a novelty whenever we get off the beaten path a bit. But there are levels, let me tell you. And walking aimlessly around the Tetebatu area, crossing rice fields and strolling through some of the smallest, least-visited villages… well, let’s just say it’s been a very long time since we felt this popular. When, not just kids – but grown adults – would stop what they were doing to smile and shout Hi! Good Morning! Welcome! Even the busiest women seemed thrilled to see us, and they are usually the first ones to decide we’re not really worth the effort. Now we know how McDavid must feel when he goes shopping for a new Hyman jersey at West Edmonton mall. Although I’m willing to bet that even he’s never had a little girl rush out to greet him, then after some quick hellos, return to catch up again farther down the street to ask for a selfie and – quite somberly – present him with chicken sausage that she insists he keep, no wiggle room on that one.
Idul Fitri (spellings vary) marks the end of Ramadan, the holy month of the Muslim calendar. It involves all sorts of spirituality, symbolism and tradition. But the big part seems to be – hey, you can eat again! Unfortunately, in Indonesia, at least, nobody seems to agree on exactly which of two days Ramadan should end. So, from what I can tell, they – the government, the mosques, the imams, the restaurant associations –have apparently just agreed to discuss it continuously without making any decision until, eventually, it’s way too late to make it the first day so, by default, it becomes the second. Effective, I suppose, and, in its own way, helpfully predictable. Then what better way to celebrate than – you guessed it – dangerously unsupervised amateur fireworks! Sure, you might assume that SOMEBODY has a plan for when, where and what direction they will blow. But you’d definitely be wrong. Luckily, those rice fields are absolutely soaked, which won’t protect you, personally, but at least lowers the risk of wildfires.
Gili Meno
It is a tiny island (20 min to walk corner to corner) with no real roads and no cars (although electric scooters are now allowed). We stayed in a small but comfortable and extremely convenient room at Divine Divers. Where we learned that the most popular things to do on Gili Meno are:
1) Snorkel on the impressive reef running all the way down the western side of the island, especially to the “Bask Nest”, a set of sunken statues of people in some sort of communal circle, maybe holding hands, maybe shirt-tugging, maybe daisy-chaining. I simply can’t hold my breath long enough to say for sure.
2) Scuba dive. You’ll encounter reef sharks, turtles, stingrays, octopi and, of course, the type of people who use the word “octopi”.
3) Have a Bintang while watching the sunset from a beach beanbag.
5) Walk all the way around the island for one uneventful hour.
4) Nap. And if the first one goes well, maybe nap again.
Gili Trawangan
“The party island”. And, theoretically, also “the visa extension island”. Which is the part that got our attention. Well, that, and Kambing, The Prettiest Goat on Gili Trawangan. Sadly, however, we ran out of time and were not able to make it across the island to gaze upon the beauty that is Kambing. Missing out big-time, it seems, as per this Google review by Brian Reithel:
I had heard whispers about Kambing from fellow travelers, but nothing could have prepared me for the transcendent experience of being in her presence. After following the winding path through the island’s interior, I found her meditating beneath an ancient banyan tree, surrounded by butterflies that seemed to dance in perfect orbital patterns around her.
The moment she opened her eyes and gazed at me, I felt a surge of energy that can only be described as pure enlightenment coursing through my chakras. My chronic tennis elbow? Gone. My existential dread? Vanished. My student loan debt? Still there, but somehow it doesn’t bother me anymore.
What truly moved me was watching Kambing counsel a group of young goats who had traveled from neighboring islands seeking her wisdom. The way she chewed thoughtfully on a blade of grass while nodding sagely at their bleats brought tears to my eyes.
Pro tip: Visit during sunrise when Kambing does her morning yoga routine. The sight of her perfect downward-facing goat pose against the pink sky will forever be etched in my memory. Remember to bring an offering of organic, locally-sourced leaves – she has impeccable taste.
Thank you, Kambing, for showing me that true enlightenment sometimes comes with hooves and a magnificent beard. 🙏✨🐐
Speedboat to Bali
The waves got a bit rough here and there and this big dude threw up SO hard. Like, SO hard. I mean, not to brag, but I’ve listened to a lot of people puke in my day. It’s one of my things, apparently. And this guy was the best at it, hands down. On his feet the whole time, too. Sometimes you can just tell you’re in the presence of greatness.
Latest Headlines
Pool Frog Overstays Welcome
Man Withdrawing 3-Million Rupiah Not as Rich as He Thinks
Cheapest Restaurant in Kuta Quite Popular
Happy Birthday, Laynni! I Got You a Visa Extension That Was Denied by Indonesian Immigration. And Popcorn.
Donut Place Still Closed
Beach Cows Keep Shitting on Beach
Waitress Probably Quite Impressed by Foreign Man Who Knows Indonesian Word for “Salt”
Tetebatu Mosques Outnumber Tetebatu Mosquitoes, Apparently
Shy Rice Field Embarrassed by All the Attention
Canadian Couple Does Not “Want in On” Developing Guitar Session
Fireworks Display Goes All Wrong, To Everyone’s Delight
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Guests at Scuba Diving Resort Seem Pretty into Scuba Diving
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25-Year Old Scuba Guide Rattled by Existence of 25-Year Old Scuba Logbook
It’s Unanimous! Tiny Stingray Cuter than Big Stingray.
Summary
Lombok was great. Not exceptional or shocking or gross or magnificent or embarrassing. But enjoyable. Scenic, friendly, fairly quiet, hot. All of which, in fairness, could be used to describe most of the Indonesian islands we’ve visited. But, hey, there are over 18,000 of them and we’ve only been to, oh, maybe 9 now. Which is a pretty small percentage. So what do we know, really? I suppose that we liked Lombok. That, I guess.
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